Is Religion a Deal-Breaker? (final) Part III

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
8320 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

anon2bornot2b :  

How brave you are, and how right  to do as you have  done . FWIW, I think you are and  have always been correct and far seeing  in all this , and he has been the changing and/or hypocritical one . Like many men , I think he just hoped  it would  all come good in the end, and he would not need to do anything  more  to have  you ‘come  around’ to his way of thinking.

I’m not surprised you didn’t really recognise  him for the staunch and steadfast  Catholic  believer  he seems now to be. His saying things like  “I’m spriitual’  and, of course being  more  than  happy to live with you unmarried are not exactly usual in your very orthodox types .

I know  you must be a bit numb now , and it a good time to do the practical stuff , before the pain starts more severely . Not that I think its going to be more than you  can  bear , I have every faith in you 

I left my first husband though I loved him deeply and I took nothing from the marriage , ( well, some cups and plates and a set of sheets but literally no more than that) – I was young and silly  and full of pride. You sound much more mature and rational,so I agree with the pp who said “You keep your ring, he keeps his guitar, and he pays you back half of the deposits.” 

I wish you very well OP . 

Post # 17
1201 posts
Bumble bee

Hi Bee,

I’m so sorry to hear this! I was really hoping that he would understand that just because you’re Jewish/Muslim/Baptist, etc., doesn’t mean you’re wrong in your pursuit of Christ.  As a practicing Catholic, myself, I just don’t understand how he could think that way.  I wish I had advice for you but I don’t.  I can only offer you some words of comfort. 

You are such a strong bee! I don’t know many people who would be able to be as rational and calm as you. Many of us can only hope to be as emotially intelligent as you one day.  Wishing you the very best. <3

Post # 18
625 posts
Busy bee

I think you should give him back the ring. I’m glad you realized all this before saying “i do.” Best of luck moving forward. 

Post # 19
4253 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

anon2bornot2b :  I hate to say it but this by far was the right decision.  I know you’re in a lot of pain, with a lot of pain to come before you can find some closure, but this would have never worked.  I think a lot of times it takes an outside source to help you find those answers…in your case, your counselor.

Take time to do things you enjoy doing.  Focus on you.  I know it’s hard, and I think a lot of us understand the type of pain you’re going through right now.  You’ll get through this.  One day at a time.

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