(Closed) Is rudeness after the marriage announcement normal?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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sushiroll84:  Ughhh.  I’m sorry, bee, it sounds like you just have some really awful people in your families.  Try not to give them a second thought, because not a single one of them deserves even a little bit of your brain space.  Congratulations on your very real wedding! 🙂

Post # 3
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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sushiroll84:  congratulations!! 

 that’s some horrid sh** that  of your extended families said. Get’em all crappy christmas presetns, they aren’t worth your time. 

try your best to ignore them and enjoy your newly wed stage!!

wishing you the best starting your life as mr and mrs!!

Post # 4
893 posts
Busy bee

Ugh. Good riddance to them! I bet you’re glad at this point that you had your intimate courthouse wedding and didn’t waste time, stress, and money on these horribly rude people.

Just don’t think about it too much. Don’t let them pop your marital bliss bubble. They’re obviously just being spiteful because they’re too close minded to understand that what really matters in this situation is your happiness, and not the fact that they were deprived of a wedding to attend.

And law school graduation registry? Who the hell does that?!

Post # 5
1635 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Congratulations on your wedding and marriage. From the comments you reported above, it seems a courthouse wedding was the best choice for the two of you.

I’m curious as to what your response has been to some of these comments? Typically, I say ignore this kind of stuff, but the comments are so blatant, that they may deserve a response- in some instances, during an in person conversation, a simple stare or “excuse me” may work, but in other instances I might just say “wow! I’m not sure you realize how hurtful your comment was”. Be prepared to be told it was a “joke”, to which I may even reply “oh, I guess you can understand my confusion, as it was hurtful instead of funny”.

dont let these people get you down. Enjoy the memories of your wedding- be glad none of these people was there- and enjoy your marriage.


Post # 6
1377 posts
Bumble bee

Graduation gift registry? Seriously, now I’ve heard it all!

Congratuualtions on your marriage, sounds like your family is a bunch of incosiderate yahoos.

Post # 7
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Holy shit! No, this isn’t normal! These people are monsters and you DON’T deserve to be treated like that. I’d put some major distance between myself and these family members. I’m sorry this is happening to you. 🙁

Also, who has a law school graduation registry??? That sounds tacky and gift grabby as hell to me.

Post # 8
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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sushiroll84:  These people sound like entitled brats. Cut that negativity from your life. If anyone talks to you like that, tell them straight up that they are being very rude, that you are disappointed in their treatment of you, and that your life is none of their business, since they clearly don’t wish you the best.  And don’t bother sending that cousin a graduation gift.  And stop talking to them. Don’t let these awful people treat you this way.  Surround yourself with positive people who are happy for you and would love to share in this special time with you. You are no less married than anyone else and you deserve happiness and kindness!

I admire you, OP. I admire you for having the wedding YOU wanted and didn’t listen to outside pressures. You saved a ton of money and were true to yourself.  Congratulations, and I’m wishing you the very best in your newlywed married life! 🙂  

Post # 10
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Ohh girl, that is some horrible behaviour. WOW. So if you celebrate Christmas, I would send out Christmas cards with a beautiful picture of the two of you and a “family letter”. Do not be at all negative or even acknowledge any of those awful people. But I would send everyone a positive letter telling everyone of this years happiness as a newly married couple. What the two of you have enjoyed and done ect. and then end it with how the two of you were overwhelmed at the outpouring of love and support from family and friends. but here is the clincher, actually enjoy this year as a newly married couple and let those “special family members” just fade away.

Post # 11
5155 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

Ha ha ha, a gift registry for law school graduation? Just no. I would have passed out from laughter if I received that notice in the mail. She is in for a rough reality check when she is actually working and does not get rewards for everything she does.

It sounds to me like a courthouse wedding was a great idea. You truly sound to have some very entitlted, rude, selfish, asshole family members. Just ignore them. I am sure they all think amongst themselves that they are brillliant, but to anyone else normal, they come across like assholes. Next time they say anything so idiotic, I think a nice long stare in reply will work well. 

Congratulations to you and your husband, may you have a long, happy, and healthy life together.

Post # 12
2773 posts
Sugar bee

Wellnow I’ve heard everything! A registry for laws school graduation? What a speshul snowflake!  Put me down for a box of #2 pencils.

Post # 13
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper


It sounds as if all these nasty people only affirmed your choice! No, it’s not normal for all of these people to be so rude. And a graduation registry sent to you in the mail? From a person who said you didn’t deserve a gift? What a sad lot. They must be pretty unhappy with their own lives to behave this way.

All the best wishes to you and your husband for a wonderful life together!

Post # 14
2506 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
sushiroll84:  tbh, it’s probably a combination of things. it doesn’t sound like your in laws are particularly fond of you, period. But the fact that (in their eyes) you excluded them from the wedding probably hasn’t helped matters, and people have a way of being particularly cruel when they feel scorned. Also, it likely didn’t help that you sent save the dates, which clearly indicated that you had planned a wedding, and then changed your mind. They probably took that personally. None of this is to excuse their behavior, or to say that you shouldn’t have eloped, but simply that it isn’t uncommon for people to behave poorly when they feel rejected. 

Post # 15
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

It sounds like you have a mix of 1)people whose feelings are hurt from being invited and then uninvited to your event, and are not able to handle their hurt feelings like adults, and 2) people who are genuinely terrible.  I would try to sort out which people are which.  If you think someone falls into the first category, I would ignore them until they have a chance to get over it.  If you think they may fall into the second category, seriously cut them out of your life for good.  Nobody needs that much negativity in their life!

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