- 3 months ago
- Wedding: December 2010
Hi, I’ve been worrying about my scoliosis because I think it’s my fault. I had underweight at 55 kg for a year or two at 17 or 18 years and I’m a male. Then at 19 years I was diagnosed with a 20° S curve scoliosis. Does that have anything to do with my underweight? At 20 years by the way my weight was normal again. Or maybe it’s because I was sitting incorrectly in school or at home. Did I do something wrong to get scoliosis? Did I worsen it? Maybe I only had 5° but through my actions it worsened up to 20°? Could I have prevented my scoliosis entirely? (I had underweight due to psychosis and anxiety, mental health problems.)
I need to know if scoliosis is my fault because I want to start working out and become strong and I can do it, but I keep thinking scoliosis is my fault and with this in the back of my mind I cannot give it a 100% when working out, do you understand? Because I cannot reach that perfect body standard with scoliosis anymore, so why bother? If at least I knew that it wasn’t my fault and that it was unpreventable, unavoidable and I would have gotten it anyway, then I wouldn’t care at all.
I asked my doctors and they said they do not know if I worsened my scoliosis or not and if it’s my fault, because it’s an idiopathic scoliosis with no known cause. But I want to hear your assumptions. Do you think I worsened or caused my scoliosis? Is it my fault for getting a 20° S curve? Could it have been all prevented if I had eaten more and didn’t get underweight? I want to stop feeling guilty and stop worrying. Give me some answers, thanks.