(Closed) Is sex equally important to both of u, or do you initiate it?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: who initates sex more often?




  • Post # 3
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I do not relate. We see it as equally important, although he does tend to initiate a bit more then I do. We don’t really think about the frequency…it varies week to week. Sometimes everyday, sometimes like 3x a week. Sometimes more then once in a day.

    Post # 4
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We are about 50/50. For instance last night he I initiated, this morning I did 🙂 We could go every day or every other day. Depends on work & level of exhaustion. Some weeks when he’s working like 65 hours it could be 3 days that week. But usually @ least twice that day. We are intimate in other ways too, shower together (without having sex) just washing each other. I’ll give him a massage, he will rub my back, we stay up late talking or listening to music laying together. While I consider sex to be a huge bonding experience, there’s definitely other ways to be intimate & connect. 

    Post # 6
    9966 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We see it as equally important and we both initiate; him a little more, probably.  As far as frequency, every day or twice a day.  More if we have time.  😉  We’re very close and physical with each other, lots of hugs, kisses, back rubs, foot rubs, etc.  Physical affection as well as sex is important to both of us.

    Post # 7
    1462 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    In my prior relationship I would initate sex 99% of the time. I am with my Fiance now and we both have been celibate 5 years for me and 4 years for him. We both decided we would continue until we are married. We both have high sex drives but decided that we would establish our relationship without sex because we didnt want it to cloud our judgement. Sex is important to us both but we are just in diffent places now so it doesnt mean the same as it did before.

    I can totally understand having a high sex drive is something that just is. I think there is so many reasons for wanting it so often. You are normal and I am quite sure when my Fiance and I get married our sex life will be exactly the way it as prior to being celibate.

    Post # 8
    771 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would say it’s equally important.  If I had to give someone an “edge” I suppose I would say he initiates more often.  Recently sex has been a little routine (in terms of scheduling, NOT in terms of how awesome it is!) so we both know when to expect it.  But all in all, I say yes, it’s equally as important!

    Post # 9
    802 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    we are pretty equal but he initiates a little more than i do but im always willing unless im dead tired. i enjoy sex with him more than i have with other men. my drive with him is alot different than it was with previous partners

    Post # 10
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @ctobride2be:  We are both have very high sex drives, but we are both equal in the importance. He tends to initiate pretty often, but I think we have a good balance. We only see each other on the weekends (he’s stationed with the Navy in another city a few hours away from me), and we are intimate with each other at least once during both those days. I think once I move in with him it will be a different story. Our love language is through touch and attention, and making love is the highest form of our love language.

    Post # 11
    637 posts
    Busy bee

    I have a slightly higher drive than Fiance (I could be a twice a day sort of girl in a perfect world and he’s once a day/maybe every other day) so I leave it up to him to initiate. He knows I would rarely turn him down, so it takes the pressure off of both of us if he’s not the one turning me down and feeling bad about it. 

    Post # 12
    2651 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

    80-90% of the time it’s me.

    Post # 13
    3683 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I think it’s more important to him, but it’s hard for me to get into it unless I initiate.

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