Is sharing food with your SO important to you?

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is sharing food with your SO important to you?
    Yes : (48 votes)
    37 %
    No : (51 votes)
    39 %
    Depends : (31 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    anabee323 :  I think it’s a non issue to be honest.

    My husband is one who doesn’t really like sharing. I’m someone who likes a little bit of everything and likes to try something I’m not sure about from someone else. But it’s not the end of the world. He’ll let me try a mouthful if it’s something I’ve not had before but I know he likes his own meals. He knows I like tapas, the aim of which is sharing. So we balance meals out where I won’t ask to try something and where we have to share something. It’s just another compromise.

    I have girlfriends who are more similar to me and like lots of little things so I share when I go with out with them. Yesterday I went out with my husband, friend and her partner. Neither my husband or her partner like sharing. But I was happy to share with my friend and coincidentally we both wanted the exact same things.

    My husband not sharing his food is not even remotely a big deal. He’s always been like this and he has many redeeming qualities and I’d rather him have those qualities than give me half his fries. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - City, State

    anabee323 :  Wow, it’s hard enought to find a good partner.  If this is a dealbreaker, I think your standards are too high.  Not everyone likes sharing food.  Sometimes I want something to myself because I don’t like what other people are eating.  I don’t see why I have to give away half of what I want to eat and take half of something I don’t want.  That doesn’t make me a bad person.  It means I like what I like and I’m not obligated to give half of it away to someone else.  On the other hand, I’m not opposed to sharing if it is agreed-upon and mutually decided.  If my husband orders something and it turns out to be gross,  I will gladly give him half of what I’m eating because I care about him.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    3250 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    I wouldn’t say it’s important to me. We sometimes take a bite of what the other person is eating but for the most part, we eat our own stuff. 

    He would never not share with me, but I know he wouldn’t necessarily be thrilled to all the time.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1197 posts
    Bumble bee

    Post # 6
    Member
    6067 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    I guess I need to know what you define as “sharing”. If it means giving away half my entree in a restaurant and taking half of something I didn’t order, I’m not sure most people would be on board for that. Trying a bite? Absolutely.

    Dh and I have split entrees when we were at places where both of us wanted to try more than one thing, but we agreed with each other what to order in advance. Dh would gladly give me all of his entree if it would make me happy because he’s a giving person and it is important to him that I’m happy, but I would never take it because I care just as much about him. Giving away your food doesn’t define a good relationship for me.

    Post # 9
    Member
    736 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    I think I’d be fairly taken aback if my partner refused to share or at least give me some of what they had. It’s nice to share experiences and talk about things you’ve both done. I guess it is important to me. I don’t need to do ordering two things and splitting (although we do that sometimes – but my husband and I have fairly different tastes), but having the option be there feels like generosity of spirit? 

    Post # 10
    Member
    759 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    This isn’t really an issue for us, sometimes we share bites or whole meals and sometimes we’re grubby little pigs and don’t want to fork anything over 🤷🏻‍♀️ Guess depends on the mood

    Post # 11
    Member
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    anabee323 :  I will often give my husband some of my food to try without expecting he give me his. I will also give him what I don’t want anymore but I don’t necessarily except the same back. He’s my default to offer to (and he usually accepts) but if he declined I’d then offer to others if I didn’t want all my meal. I can also comment to my husband (or someone else at the table) that their meal looks good, because it can. Sometimhing can sound totally unappealing on the menu to me but arrive and look amazing. Some things you can miss on the menu and arrive and give you food envy. Just because I say something looks good, it doesn’t mean I’m fishing to try some or half the meal. I’m just saying it looks nice. To me, seeing another meal and saying that looks good is just a part of eating out and socialising. Even with asking, her partner doesn’t need to share with her. My mum always told me ‘I want doesn’t get’. Just because your friend wanted a bite of her partner’s food, doesn’t mean she gets to. If her partner wanted to offer, fine but they’re under no obligation.

    This seems completely normal to me. I would offer my husband some of my meal and comment his looks good (because it’s also general conversation when eating out). My husband probably wouldn’t refuse me a bite (but it’s because I’m kinda sulky) but he wouldn’t be happy about me asking for a bite of his meal everytime we went out.

    Post # 12
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - City, State

    anabee323 :  You said, “Personally, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who was not willing to share food” and “At the same time, everyone chooses what they will tolerate in a relationship.”  That does come across as a bit judgy of people who don’t like to share their food and that it is something you look for in dating.  Just sayin.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1144 posts
    Bumble bee

    It’s not a quality I specifically looked for, but refusing to share (not talking about going halves, just let your partner try some of your food) could be a symptom of selfishness. 

    My ex was like that. He even got mad at me once for taking out a big scoop of his chocolate dessert, after he offered me a bite. because he thought I was going to end up eating a lot more of it, I said no I just wanted one bite that’s why I took a big bite. He’s like oh. That’s ok then. But that’s after we’ve had silence + spent time talking about this. While we were on holidays travelling. When we should be relaxing and not talking about petty sh*t like this. What a major downer. 

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