(Closed) Is she a real friend? Consider her a BM?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2270 posts
Buzzing bee

Of course you shouldn’t be friends with her anymore. Drop her like bad habit.

Post # 4
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Google “toxic friendships” seems like she fits the bill.

Nothing about this girl makes her even sound like a “friend” much less a bridesmaid!

I was in a similiar situation with my ex-best friend.  She was jealous of me, pure & simple.  There’s really not much to it other than that.  Anytime I had a boyfriend, she would flip out.  Once, she went to my boyfriend & told him I said I didn’t even think he was that cute.  HUH?!  She would also tell guys I was “bad news” & to “stay away from me”  But considering she’s 26 years old & has never had a boyfriend…well, you see where those lies come from.  

Sounds just like your friend.  She was highly manipulative & lived a double life. She turned a whole bunch of people against me, & I didn’t want to get caught up in the drama so I just let it be.  I figured, if these people want to believe her, then let them, if they know me, then they will eventually figure out who’s company doesn’t drain them & stress them out to no end.  & that’s exactly what happened.  Slowly, our mutual friends started coming to me saying they see how fake & crazy she is now.  I think had I made a big deal & tried to defend myself to everyone, she would have LOVED that & it would have just been fuel for the fire.  

I ended our friendship 3 years ago, which put her in therapy.  & she finally fessed up in saying that she “plotted against my happiness.”  Completely nuts! 

Now from time to time, she will text me & try to rekindle our friendship.  Last one I got a few weeks ago was she heard I was engaged & was happy for me–yeah right!  She couldn’t even stand it if a guy looked at me for too long if we were out at a bar.

Lose this girl–trust me, it’s not worth it!  Imagine what she would do if she were a bridesmaid on your big day that’s ALL ABOUT YOU & not her!  My ex-best friend threw a fit & cried & caused a scene one year when I had a large birthday party…I cringe when I think ‘what if she & i were still friends & she were in my wedding?’  YIKES.



Post # 5
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@cocomo:  She is toxic, hateful, and will make your wedding hell. Do NOT befriend her, do not invite her to the wedding. Block her on FB, block her number on the phone and move on with real friends.


Post # 6
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’ve read both of your posts, my opinion is that its more then jealousy and you should get rid of these toxic friends for good. they are not true friends.  A real friend will be happy for you no matter what, even if she’s a bit jealous of something happening to you.

These people took your moment away from you, and want to make everything about them. They are tackless, rude and selfish.

Post # 7
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If there is even a question in mind of whether or not she is your friend, then absolutely do not consider her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

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