(Closed) Is she being OTT or am I just bitter?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I didn’t read all of the other responses, so I apologize if this is redundant.

In my opinion, It’s fine to have a destination wedding, but even your closest family members won’t be able to attend.  If ANYONE gives you guys crap about not going, suggest that they pay for your expenses.  They’ll probably say, “That’s absurd!!!” to which you can respond, “Yes.  That’s exactly what we think also.  We’re trying to save money for our own future.  It’s absurd that you can’t understand that.”  

Infuriating.  And yes, three engagement parties is a little OTT!! 

Post # 33
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Ehh.. Honestly? I’d be pretty pissed if I was in your shoes.

I TOTALLY understand that he loves his cousin on a very close level, but for an important step in your lives/relationships to take a back seat to her glory, well that doesn’t seem fair.

One of the understood things about long distance destination weddings is that when someone can’t come, the bride/groom/family should be completely understanding of it. Even if one of my sisters (we are very close) were to get married abroad next year, Bf & I would regretfully decline to attend. We can’t afford that when we are trying to save for a ring/wedding ourselves.

Do you feel that your SO and you would be on the road to marriage within the year if it weren’t for her wedding creating a real financial burden? 

Lastly, the whole thing about her wedding being the talk off the community, well it seems majorly over-the-top. 3-4 engagement parties!? Seems absured…  

Post # 34
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Oh yeah, and I wrote my previous post before reading the any PP’s opinions.

Just wanted to say that I couldn’t disagree with some of them more. I think the majority of your attitude about the situation is how she is handling it, and how you have to keep all of this annoyance to yourself because your BF isn’t receptive to hearing your opinion of it at all.

She seems like a really guady, self-centered person, and that would so not sit well with me.

But I will say that you are of the more refined sort than I, in that you try to keep your opinions to yourself for the sake of you BF, where as my BF and I are so blatantly honest with each other about your feelings on our families (and everything really) that it isn’t even funny.

Post # 35
281 posts
Helper bee

Ouch that seems like a tough situation. It seems weird that there are going to be “serious repercussions” if you can’t make it. My SO’s brother was getting married and I was invited and expected to go, but I had just lost my job and was going to school and couldn’t afford the $500. They were super rude about it and didn’t offer to provide any help with plane tix or lodging or airport pick up when I told them it would be too expensive for me to go (and my SO really couldn’t afford it either. Pretty sad that my SO’s well-off dad made him fork over that much money for a family wedding and didn’t even help him out.), so I just said I couldn’t make it because I had something for school. I sent a nice card with SO the day of and letter of well-wishes by mail after and they didn’t bother to reply to either so I really don’t feel bad. I don’t think I can ever bring myself to share a last name with my SO’s family they are so selfish haha.

If they can afford it, maybe ask if they can help you pay to come since it really isn’t fair to have consequences for you if you can’t afford it! 

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