Post # 16
Yeah, you need to just talk to her. Calmly. There is not enough information here to indicate she’s doing anything scandalous. My FH frequently makes lunch reservations for himself and his clients, and rarely clues me in unless it comes up during normal conversation.
Post # 17
What makes you think it’s a restaurant?? Could be a hotel reservation. For sex.
Post # 18
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
slomotion : I love hotels that book tables for sex. So much more efficient and cost effective to be able to book a table instead of a whole room. No wasting time on the dang keycard doors for me! I’m a busy lady, I’ve got places to be, people to do.
Post # 19
Who refers to themselves as a little lonely man? That’s sad :/
Post # 20
I don’t know the background to your relationship, but if this is the only thing, id just ask her, and not too late. Just casually ask her “hey babe, your phone sent you a reminder for lunch this afternoon.” She more than likely will let you know what its about or wiht who. if she doesnt, just ask “are you going for a work lunch?” or something along those lines. Dont assume or try to accuse her of anything. If she gets that vibe, then anytime something like that happens, she may withold info to keep you from getting all worked up about it, and i assume thats not somethign you want.
Post # 21
As long as the table has a leaf and sturdy legs it’s much more effective. chelbell23 :
Post # 22
As I was about to leave for work she walked in and instantly looked surprised to see me (as I was just as surprised to see her!!)…she claimed she forgot something at home.
I asked about the table at the restaurant and I could tell by her reaction something was up. She was being really off with me and stumbled on her answer and kept back tracking. I have no idea why but I asked to see her phone. I wasn’t expecting to find anything, she normally leaves her phone around and many times I’ve used it with her permission when I have no battery or whatever. This time she didn’t want to give it to me. I instantly knew something was up and my a got a horrible sickly feeling. In the end I had to say that if I can’t see her phone we are done. She handed it to me but stood over me and clearly wasnt comfortable with me having it. I opened her messages and started going through them. I got to one conversation with a guy called *Brian*, no idea who it is and she snatched the phone from me. I said that if she doesn’t show me the conversation I’m gone. She gave it back to me. I read….’ive got a confession your profile picture is turning me on’ and then he said ‘you shouldn’t be saying that. That’s naughty’ and he saying ‘i know. But I like to be naughty. What a shame you aren’t here now to give me some of your special shampoo . I even have a new bed’ he said ‘well, why don’t you leave your boyfriend at home and come over. Let me know when you’re free and I’ll send you my address’ . That conversation was sent a couple of weeks ago when I went to bed and she had stayed up later than me. She also had an email sent to a random email address saying ‘where do you live?’ they replied ‘peru’ and she replied ‘maybe I need to come to Peru and meet you .could be interesting. Here is a photo of me’ and had attached a photo .
I’ve left the house for work. I don’t know what to do when my shift is up. I don’t want to go back home and see her. I don’t know whether to call a friend? I don’t want to drag people into this mess.
Post # 23
littlelonelyman2018 : I guess you have your answer. Either you can get to the bottom of why she’s having an affair, and starting an emotional affair with the Peruvian, and figure out how to fix your relationship, or you can leave. Personally, I would need to end it. You don’t get a second chance with me if you decide to cheat. I’m sorry this is happenening to you.
Post # 24
um holy shit.
she is definitely shady. get the hell out of there. so sorry dude.
Post # 25
littlelonelyman2018 : if my SO demanded that I hand over my phone or “we are done”, I’d have ended the shit for him.
ETA: whether she’s cheating or not, you need to end this relationship. You don’t trust her, and you never have. You need to learn how to be alone without being “lonely”.
Post # 26
My name is because I really like a song by affinity and it’s not about me.
I really don’t need to hear after finding out that girlfriend is having an emotional affair that I am wrong for saying I’m done if she doesn’t give me her phone. I was shitting myself and knew something was up. I wasn’t acting myself and was freaking out. Something I hope you haven’t personally had to go through. I really don’t need to hear that right after what I’ve gone through. I’m aware I shouldn’t have said that but it’s a bit late now.
Post # 27
littlelonelyman2018 : I think you were fine saying what you said because obviously she was acting super shady and hiding things from you on her phone.
Post # 28
oh wow. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. It’s up to you whether you want to still be in this relationship or end it, but if I was one of your close friends, I would advise you to end it.
Even if you and your gf somehow patch things up, you will be reminded of this everytime something happens.
Post # 29
I have noticed how everyone was very quick to jump down this poor guy’s throat at the beginning making him look the bad guy in this, and now he’s come back with evidence and needs more help than before the thread has quietened down? And he’s been criticised for when he said to his girlfriend (WHO IS CHEATING) that the relationship is done unless he can see her phone!?! He clearly knew something was up and a lot of the time we need to trust our gut, when we know we know.
OP, I am so sorry you are going through this and I am sorry for how the bees have been with you. I too have read your previous posts and to be honest I feel more sympathy than anything, I read about your ex wife and that is an awful story. You clearly knew something wasn’t right in this current relationship all along and I really do believe that when we know something isn’t right we need to trust that. Sometimes you can’t even explain it. Especially to a group of strangers on the net who don’t know you, your girlfriend or your history.
Where will you go tonight? Have you finished work now? Is your house a mutual house (i.e. not her house), if so I believe you have every right to ask her to leave for a few days whilst you get your head straight. Why should you go? You aren’t the one texting other people.
I do think you need to speak to someone if you haven’t already. A trusted friend? family member? You are going to need a lot of support.
Good luck. I wish you all the best.
Post # 30
Wow dude, I don’t really have any advice (other than leave her because she sucks) but I just wanted to say I’m so incredibly sorry you’re going through this and for some of the reactions you’ve gotten on here. For what it’s worth, I’m glad you did what you did and got her to give you the phone. I’m sure many of us would do the same if we had such a strong feeling something was up. You were panicked and you’re human. I definitely recommend talking to someone and therapy is a great thing as it’s evident you have a lot of trust issues (rightfully so). Ditch the girl and focus on yourself. You will find someone loyal and trustworthy. Best of luck.