(Closed) Is she gay? Need advice.

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

She might be gay. I suggest you don’t bring it up with her, though… she will tell you when it’s time. By the sounds of it, you weren’t great friends w. her to begin with.

Post # 4
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I don’t think it really matters…  You just need to be a good friend either way.

Post # 7
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@buggaboo6:  May I ask why it matters? If you guys were really good friends then she would tell you. Maybe she has better things to do with her time than to obsess over men.

 

Post # 8
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@buggaboo6:  She might be afraid to tell you. Who knows how people will react to that sort of thing? FI’s best friend/one of his GMs is gay, but has NEVER come out to Fiance (he came out to me years ago, though). Fiance knows, Groomsmen knows he knows, but doesn’t want to come out and say it. I say, love and support her like you normally would, and she’ll tell you (if she is) when she’s ready.

Post # 9
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

She may be. I think if you want to be a really good friend to her, just make it very clear that you care about her and love her for who she is, no matter what. If she is gay, and can trust that you’re a “safe zone,” a person who won’t judge her, she may have the courage to come out to you.

Years ago, a friend came out to me and told me that she was attracted to me. Poor girl was shaking, terrified I’d reject her as a friend – she knew I was straight so she wasn’t really expecting me to reciprocate. I told her she was important to me and while I was straight that didn’t mean she had to be, and that I was flattered that she found me attractive and I hoped she could find a girl to be happy with. We stayed friends for a long time, and her harmless little crush on me faded. 

 

Post # 10
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I would let her tell you in own her time and in her own words…coming out is a very big deal so if she’s not ready to tell you it’s okay, just be a friend.

Post # 11
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s possible that she is and is just afraid to come out.  My sister is gay, well, she is in love with a woman and hasn’t really figured out if she is gay, or if she is just in love with this one person, without taking into account her gender.  Anyway, I think anymore it’s just something that a person has to figure out before they can explain it to anyone else.  Just be a good friend, let her know that you’re her friend and you love her no matter what.  It made me sad that my sister was afraid to come out at first, but I hugged her and told her I thought she was amazing, and brave, and so courageous to just be who she is.  Just talk to her, but don’t push.  Maybe she isn’t ready.

Post # 12
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@buggaboo6:  Don’t assume anything.  Just be her friend.  If she ever wants you to know her sexual orientation, one way or the other, she will tell you.

Post # 13
Member
1438 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It sounds like shes gay, but afraid to say it. It also seems to me that she likes you.

Post # 14
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think you need to decide how you want to proceed if she is or isn’t. If she is, you have to deal with that. If she isn’t, you seem to have a weird crappy friendship where she just gets mad at you a lot for no reason. Hard for an outsider to make the call. Are you ok with her being gay? I know this could turn controversial, but if you aren’t ok with it, you need to be prepared ahead of time so you don’t hurt her (especially if you are involved in her family still and dating her brother). Personally, this wouldn’t bother me. I have many bi-gay friends and it does not affect my life how they choose to live. I think you need to know how to proceed before you talk to her. (I don’t think you should ask- friends of mine say they needed to do it on their own time.)

Post # 16
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

She might be gay, she might be asexual, or she might be a socially awkward latebloomer. Regardless of what her preferences are, it really shouldn’t matter if you’re good friends, should it?

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