Post # 1
I am posting here because I wanted a female perspective on my situation…
I have been dating this girl for almost 10 months and I will start by saying that she is “the one”. I was getting pictures of rings a few months ago and even talking about some serious stuff about buying a house together. The reason I am questioning if she is ready is that I haven’t heard the three words yet and don’t know why? And to answer your question you just asked yourself, yes, I have said it.
To give some background on her… she was engaged right after high school and the guy walked out about 5 hours before they were suppossed to say “i do”… So yes, I have dealt with those issues as well and more than anything deal with this “I don’t care” attitude from her that I believe is a front of her emotions. She hasn’t talked about rings recently and I believe its because I didn’t purchase one when she was talking about it. I even heard the comment, “If it hasn’t happened, it probably won’t ever happen.” I have a feeling that it was related….
So my question to the board is :
Do women get upset when their guy hasn’t purchased the ring especially after so many hints and why the i dont care attitude because it drives me bananas sometimes 🙂
Post # 3
“I love you” should come a long time before engagement, if that is what you’re asking.
Post # 4
She is not ready. If she hasn’t said I love you, she definitely isn’t ready to live with you much less get married.
She could be engaging in some self-sabotage to ruin the relationship because that’s easier than opening herself up to love. Sounds like she could use some counseling.
Post # 5
I really hope she gets over her trust and emotional issues. It may indeed be a long road ahead for you. Someone who’s had their potential husband walk out on her 5 hours before the wedding will need a lot of care and support from any future partners. I can’t imagine how heartbroken she would have been.
I think ten months is a little too soon in this situation to propose. She probably does have a lot of affection for you, but she may be too scared to say the three words. Give her a little more time, and eventually it will come.
🙂 Best of luck.
Post # 6
@anon27: To answer your question about women, rings and the don’t care attitude.
Consider it this way, if you are a traditional girl and are ready for marriage before your significant other (SO) then of course you’re going to be a little frustrated and antsy about the whole thing, because your waiting on him to make the next move (getting the ring & proposing). So the don’t care attitude is probably a way she trys to either a)make sure her SO doesn’t feel pressured and B) is a way to conceal her desire for the ring and marriage.
And this works in vice versa as well. Which brings me to my next point. If she hasn’t said I Love You yet, thats maybe a sign that you are probably much more ready for the engagement and marriage than she is.
So just take it slow and enjoy the journey if you really do think she can be your “one”
Post # 7
@MrsTVLover: Well said.
OP, have you asked her about the fact that she hasn’t said “I love you”? It may be awkward, but if you are seriously considering marrying this woman, you should feel comfortable bringing it up. IMO if she hasn’t said she loves you, she’s not ready to get married.