(Closed) Is SIL a problem?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1730 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@Daisys4U:  Hmm.  I can’t really say too much other than it DOES seem a bit strange that he’d be almost possessive of your/his SiL like that.  I’m not trying to rock your boat anymore than it already has been, but is there ANY chance t all anyhting weird may have ever happened between thetwo of them, your H and SiL?  Even before he was with you, or she was with his brother?  He’s taking the idea of her cheating not as a betrayal of his broher, like you are, but as though she’s cheating on HIM(?) from what I’m reading here.  Again, I’m sure I’m missing lots of the story, and am not trying to jump to conlcusions, but felt I’d mention it. 

I don’t like his answer to you about “regretting” asking him if he’s haivng an affair.  It wasn’t a direct, “No, how vould you ask me that?”, or even a hurt, “I’m ad you ould think that of me.”  It was a veiled threat of sorts.  “You’ll regret it?”  WTF does that mean?  Again, reading from what you’ve writtne I’d have taken that to mean he’d leave you and the baby (you’re exepecting, right?  It was your shower you were having?)

There’s got to be some other information here he’s not giving you – either he and the SiL had soemthing, he’s caught he cheating in the past and is SUPER protective of his brother, maybe his brother has been devestated before by other woemn cheating on him or your H was cheated on and takes any cheating personally?  I don’t know, sorry I can’t be any help.  I hope you can get it straightened out, neither one of them is acting “normal”. 


Post # 4
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Your not crazy and its not your hormones.  Something isn’t right.  I agree w/ @Isilme.  It sounds like a prior relationship occurred before you were married.  And if it did it did, but he needs to come clean.  I don’t know if he’s having an affair but its time for him to be an adult and explain why there’s all this tension btwn them.  Its not fair to you and it won’t help your marriage. 

Good Luck!!!!

Post # 6
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

When I read it I was thinking your hubby gave her the ring…

Post # 7
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This all seems very odd to me. I would probably feel quite uncomfortable about the situation as you do. Has your Brother-In-Law ever said anything about feeling like something was going on?

Post # 8
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Daisys4U: You have posted several times about your husband’s erratic behavior… I don’t mean to be harsh, but have you ever really confronted him about these things?

My heart aches for you after reading this post because, in my opinion, it sounds like your husband is the “other guy”. And by acting crazy when you mention how good of a father your Brother-In-Law is and going nuts when he can’t located the SIL on facebook…. it’s so disrespectful to so many people but most especially to you…

You shouldn’t have to go to your mother-in-laws and “test” him to see if he looks at you, his wife, or his SIL more…that’s just C-R-A-Z-Y.


Post # 9
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It sounds funny to me too…. I’m so sorry your dealing with this hun! Keep us updated- I’ll keep you in my prayers!

Post # 10
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

So did he buy her the ring? Cos I’m still not clear on that part. How did he know that he ring is gold and why does the ring make him uncomfortable?

Post # 11
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

this story is definatly fishy and makes it seem that the HB and SIL have some history and some unfinished business.  Now that you are his wife you have every right to know what is going on.  The story about the camping trip is a big red flag!!  I would confront him ASP!

Post # 12
5885 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

So do you want to know the answer or not? Even if they tell you no, nothing is going on, what is your gut telling you.

If I was in this situation. I know my gut would be telling me that *something* was going on between Darling Husband and SIL. Whether or not it was full on affair, something isn’t right. I know you have a kid, but I don’t know if I could stay in a relationship with someone who is so disrespectful of me.

Good Luck

Post # 13
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have read all your previous posts.  You are in an unhealthy relationship with both your husband and his family.  Everyone on here has told you repeatedly to leave him or get counceling, you have refused both.  There is not much else to tell you.

From your other posts you have suspected a relationship before.  I think you know what’s going on, but just can’t admit it to yourself.

Post # 15
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Daisys4U: It sounds like something fishy is going on…I felt this way in one of your threads awhile back. My advice is the same now as it was then, get out. This is a very unhealthy relationship (based off all of your posts about wondering if you should get a divorce, being unhappy, worrying about him cheating, etc) and it sounds like you also have a very controlling mother in law. You need to think about what is best for you and your baby.

Post # 16
858 posts
Busy bee

@Atalanta: I thought the same thing

I dont what is going on but whatever it is does not seem right dont take this the wrong way, I dont want to hurt you but are you sure your husband isnt the one having an affair with her? I only ask because of the way you said they were acting at her house. If he just knew about her having an affair with someone and she knew that your husband knew I see how that could cause them to be uncomfortable but not to the level your talking about and what he said to you about regretting it that is beyond wrong. I think if your feeling like they are having an affair you need to go to her husband and let him know whats going on its the right thing to do

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