(Closed) Is it still acceptable for the woman to stay at home?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think it depends on if they can afford it.. I know my Fiance and I would like me to be able to do that while the kids are younger. Then when they get into school I would try to work the ours they are in school. I know though that would cause issues with my Fiance mother. She always sticks her nose where it does not belong

Post # 17
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
jenni2000:  I guess it depends on where you live. It’s quite common here in Texas. At the end of the day, I wouldn’t care about what other people think.

Post # 18
Member
456 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
Christina1015:  I disagree, do you know how many wives of wealthy brokers and businessmen stay at home in NYC?

I think it is fine as long as both parties agree. It doesn’t hurt anyone and there are actually advantages to this arrangement. However I do dislike women who show off with a wealthy husband, who provides them with everything (think ala “real housewives of ___). 

Post # 19
Member
3383 posts
Sugar bee

I personally don’t want anyone to support me but myself. But if the woman staying home works for another couple, that’s cool. I try not to judge others simply because they make different decisions than I. 

Post # 20
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

If you and your husband agree then it’s fine. If people react weirdly that’s there problem not yours. I’ll admit, I run into this issue a lot where I am meeting wives of my husbands co-workers…many of whom are Stay-At-Home Mom or SAHWs. I probably pause when people tell me that because admittedly I don’t really understand it…I love my career and would be so bored staying at home. Plus in social situations like that I’m trying to make small talk and as a career woman with no children I almost always find I have nothing in common with these women and the conversation gets awkward fast.

Post # 21
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
Buymymixtape:  You agree with me, in spirit, I just didn’t use the right language! When I said independently wealthy I was including the idea of one high level earner, I just didn’t slow down enough to specify in my response. If the couple even needs to *think* about how much thing cost they would be be looked at sideways if one stayed home without kids.

Post # 22
Member
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Depends who you’re asking, and why… if you’re just asking can you do it… that’s up to you.  Some people will talk about you for it, some won’t.  If you live somewhere where it’s more common, less people will talk about you.  In the end, who cares?  Haters gonna hate.

If, on the other hand, you’re asking will potential employers frown upon it? Yes, they will.  Large gaps in employment, even for reasons like sickness and maternity leave, unfortunately are bad for the resume.  At best they imply you’re rusty… 

Post # 23
Member
8001 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

There is a LOT of judgement from other people regardless of what you do. And if you plan to have children, people often openly judge what you do with them, so get used to it! The important thing is what you and your DH think. DH and I agreed before we were married that I would stay home with the kids when we had them. Although I worked until the delivery of my first, I was at home for over 10 years. I am now back at work since my children are all in school full time, but I still have to maintain the same hours they have because DH travels a lot for work. A lot of people said a lot of things to me regarding our choice, but we knew it was the best thing for us, so what they said didn’t matter. 

Post # 24
Member
6582 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am a Stay-At-Home Mom and no one has ever given me a problem about it. Actually, every one has been very supportive and has reinforced how they think it is important to stay home with the kids (if you can/want to). I have a college degree and held the same job for 13 years before I became a Stay-At-Home Mom. Perhaps there are some in my circle who don’t approve- but at least they are tactful enough to not say anything to my face!

Post # 25
Member
3797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
jenni2000:  I think “acceptable” will depend on each person because this topic is so subjective. I couldn’t stay home and not work, especially without kids. I’m a teacher and get plenty of time off. Even with teaching summer school, in getting bored. I love working. DH will actually be staying home (and completing his degree) over the next two years and staying with our baby due in December. When we have our second in several years, I will stay home for 6 mo-1 year. Neither of us could just stay home. If it works for a couple, no judgement here!

Post # 26
Member
2366 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I from NYC, I am well educated and im stay at home with no Children. My husbands career out distanced my own and after i was fired a few years ago it seemed easier for me to be home available to my husband to help in whatever way I can both by managing our home and investments. We are partners in everyway and its not an issue. I do miss my corner office and view of fifth avenue but until i find another opportunity its a workable situation for us.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by jily.
Post # 27
Member
267 posts
Helper bee

To me, its pretty much acceptable for any couple to do what they want in this department. It isn’t always advisable, though. Something I’ve seen a lot is couples who have only one person work, then break up, and although the stay at home spouse gets spousal support, there just isn’t enough money to go around. An income that nicely supported one household doesn’t always stretch well enough to support two and it often seems to happen as kids become teenagers with expensive needs/wants of their own. So the stay at home spouse is left with little or no work experience after 5, 10, 15 years, and neither party is happy because there just isn’t enough money to live comfortably in two households. So I’m fine with it, but I do think it can be a bit risky.

Post # 28
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee

Ultimately it’s completely up to you and hubby. To be honest, I don’t know of ANY SAHW’s. I am a stay at home Mom, and betwwen the kids, the house, the errands, and all the volunteer work I do, I am plenty busy!!!  But I have every intention to at least do something part time when my kids are grown. My hubby makes more than enough for me not to work, but without my kids, I honestly can’t imagine not having at least a little something for myself, outside of the house. Not only that, but I honestly feel like people WOULD judge me and think I was lazy if I didn’t work once my kids are grown. It’s no one else’s decision, just yours but if I’m being COMPLETELY honest, I’m not surprised people would react somewhat negatively. Like I said, it’s not about needing money for us once my kids are gone, but wanting to contribute at least somewhat when my husband works so hard, and wanting to do more in my life than just be at home all day. Ultimately it’s no one else’s business what you do, but honestly be prepared for some people to be negative, if that’s what you choose. 

Post # 29
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

If you didnt have kids I’d probably think it was a bit strange tbh unless your circumstances meant it was hard for you to work or you were doing alot of volunteering or studying- but that’s just because I know it wiuldnt suit me. It doesn’t what anyone else thinks, if that’s your path and both you and your husband are happy then good for you. Screw everyone else – people don’t just contribute to society through paid work and someone will always be judging you no matter what you’re doing.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by lamington.
  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by lamington.
Post # 30
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

Yes I think so. However IMO I would rather work and then stay at home when I have children. Maybe these are my thoughts because I have always worked whilst with a partner. My friend is currently not working ‘as she doesn’t like the stress of it’ .. she’s 25 and is very babied by her family. they have no kids and her Fiance is more than happy for not to work. I find it kind of strange, but its down to them and seems to work. However, she has no idea of the value of things, doesn’t input into bills / savings and any money she just has is spent on herself. It can get annoying she doesn’t appreciate how hard people have to work for things as all is on a plate for her.

The topic ‘Is it still acceptable for the woman to stay at home?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors