(Closed) Is it still acceptable for the woman to stay at home?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 46
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

She doesn’t have to be educated or fulfill any prerequisites everyone can do whatever the hell anyone wants to. That’s all I’ve dreamed of my whole life, and I have a great job and I have an education. I don’t get why everyone is so focussed on what everyone else thinks and feminism crap that doesn’t matter.

Post # 47
Member
2922 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I think most people are judgemental about it because we live in a society that seems to put focus on being busy, like the more burnt out at work you are the better you are as a person or something. People seem to compare how busy and tired they are and wear it like a badge of honor. I find it quite silly and I think that whatever people are comfortable with is their choice.

 

Post # 48
Member
222 posts
Helper bee

I completely understand the woman staying home to raise children – I have a really high level of respect for SAHM’s. But a SAHW? I don’t know – what is the point? What will you do all day? It certainly doesn’t take 40 hours a week to keep a house clean and prepare meals. What if your husband leaves you and you spent years and years never standing on your own two feet, so to speak? The sad reality is a large number of marriages do end in divorce and it just seems silly to purposely leave yourself vulnerable in that regard for very extended periods of time. Where does the fulfillment come from? A stay at home mom is fulfilled by her children. A woman who works is (generally) fulfilled by her career and accomplishements. What fulfills you staying home all day while your husband works? Just seems pointless unless you’re extremely wealthy IMO. 

Post # 49
Member
2451 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
racr335:  I think it is very risky. What if your finances change or you are divorced? Divorce courts are not generous towards young women with decent educations and no children when it comes to spousal support.

Post # 50
Member
845 posts
Busy bee

Fuck what’s acceptable.

Post # 51
Member
845 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
racr335:  My mother was a Stay-At-Home Mom and now she’s a Stay-At-Home Wife. She is this because she hates having to be on other people’s schedule and dealing with office polictics and douchy coworkers (even if she makes nice work buddies). My mother is crazy busy because she lives in the country: she runs her own garden, organizes landscapes, raise and release quails, and takes care of pets. She works from sun up and sun down, and is super busy and fulfilled, by no means is she just cleaning, cooking, and twiddling her thumbs inbetween. Stay-At-Home Wife just have a different mindset, and are fulfilled differently. My mother lives on one income that is brought home by my dad, and they are upper middle class where they live.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by PBeeWriter.
Post # 52
Member
3936 posts
Honey bee

There are plenty of professions where having a SAH is a true asset to the workplace and the home, children or not. 

I’ve been a SAH and had a SAH, and we have also both worked outside the home FT while sharing the housework. Children bring a new set of responsibilities, true, but parenting doesn’t validate the SAH, imo. 

Having said this, I think it’s largely a myob thing except when the family is receiving govt. assistance, and then it’s harder for me to not form an opinion on the SAH, kwim?

 

Post # 53
Member
7382 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

View original reply
nycsa:  And what if it’s riskier to work?

I see so many assumptions being made in this thread.

Post # 54
Member
2451 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
AB Bride:  How could it be riskier to work and have some way to earn income in case it depends necessary?

Post # 55
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If I could be a stay at home wife or mother, I would do it. If that’s what you want to do, and your husband is on board, do it!

Post # 56
Member
7382 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

View original reply
nycsa:  I get frequent attacks that could quickly become life threatening just from doing little things.  Working itself could easily trigger more and bigger ones, as would the things that go along with working outside the home like not being able to sleep as much or whenever needed, dealing with smoke and scented products.

There’s also the sudden complications like I need to have a 6 hour appointment tomorrow because they became strict about rules regarding obtaining my medication that I didn’t even know existed in the first place.

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