Post # 1
There are a lot of dramatic posts around here. Posts where people are upset because someone is “stealing their thunder” or an ex girlfriend causing issues. Dramas with bridesmaids and parents. I have to wonder if it is happening more with the younger ladies on the board. I mean no offense but come on, we all remember our 20’s and life then was a lot different than now or even when we were in our 30’s. So my question is this: as a 40 something bride do you find that your life, especially surrounding your wedding is drama free in comparison to what it might have been if we were a younger bride?
Disclaimer: I am not suggesting that only the younger brides have drama nor am I suggesting that they somehow wrong or whatever. Just take this post as a genuine question and not assume that I am saying things that I am not.
Post # 3
I’m 27. If it gets better in the 30’s, then I can’t wait. I’m jumping up and down anxiously at the thought.
Post # 4
My 36 year old now aunt just got married to my 39 year old uncle. It was more drama than all of wedding bee combined…
Post # 5
@MrsPinkPeony: Good point. I think it all boils down to how mentally mature the people involved are. I had a 20-something friend with a 42 year-old mom who would bar hop with her and her friends every Saturday. Wore gawdy eye makeup and everything. She was of course single, but still.
Post # 6
I think the “younger” brides are just more vocal about their drama. I am a 50 something bride and I did have some drama, but I didn’t post about it. I think we still have some of the same drama, but I also think that we handle it differently because we have been through a lot more life situations than the younger generations have. I also think as we get older our priorities change and we are just more likely to go with the flow and try not to worry about it as much; although, my now husband would probably tell you differently because he was the one that I mostly vented to.
EDIT: I also wanted to say that I do enjoy reading the drama posts from the younger brides because I like to offer suggestions on how they might be able to get through what they are going through. Some of the stories; for lack of a better word, are just horendous and they break my heart. A lot of times I just want to reach out and give the poor girls a big hug because they shouldn’t have to be dealing with a lot of what they are having to deal with. It boggles my mind how some of their family and supposed friends treat them.
Post # 7
I think that some of the drama on here is pretty justified. I’ve read some family stories that sound absolutely terrible!! But some of the posters seem to be upset over small things.
It may also be that older brides have had more life experience, more life drama in general and some things just don’t matter like they used to! I’m 27 and I hope that when I’m in my 30s or 40s that I’ve developed more confidence in myself and in all of my relationships.
Post # 8
I think age may play a slight factor – but IMO someone who is an adult (20+) has already formed their personality and the way they handle issues, yes this may develop a little more over time – but if your a time bomb, I think your always going to be a time bomb.
So drama happens at all ages 🙂
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Keep in mind, there are probably more younger brides posting here regularly than there are older ones. I would guess that drama is more or less equally distributed among all age groups (although I do believe that life experience helps keep things more in perspective in most cases, so it wouldn’t surprise me if there is a little more “small things” drama at the younger end of the spectrum).
Post # 9
I’ve had no drama. Whether or not that is a function of age, I don’t know. Part of it may be that so far, we have only done a JOP wedding, not our church ceremony. Maybe the drama will come with that….but I doubt it.
We had no bridesmaids = no bridesmaid/MOH drama
My husband didn’t want a bachelor party = no stressing about lap dances
My dress came from Macy’s = no worries about dress costs, waiting for it to come in, alterations
I didn’t have a bouquet or decorate = no florist issues
My Mother-In-Law took the pictures = no photographer issues
We went out to dinner after the ceremony = no caterer issues, no questions about open bar, etc.
All of our siblinga are already married = no siblings to steal our thunder
I do think the biggest reason we didn’t have (and maybe why other older brides may have) less drama is because we really didn’t have our parents or families involved in the planning. We have both been totally independent for more than twenty years, so I doubt it even occured to our parents that they’d have input. When we decided to do a JOP ceremony before my annulment was done and before we could get married in church, no one in our family said anything about it. When we do have our wedding, we will pay for everything and do what we want and I’d be surprised if anyone questioned it.
Post # 10
@PrairieGirl: very good point. Yes, I agree that some of the bees, especially given some of their crazy family situations (what is it with weddings that people get nuts?!) are totally justified
Post # 11
As a 41 year old bride, I had very little drama. I tend to think, however, I would have been equally drama free twenty years ago. I am not attracted to it or people who provide it.
On the other hand, at my age, I have been there, done that, and was not interested in making my life more complicated by my wedding related choices.
Post # 12
I agree with most of the previous posters. I think it’s more of a mindset than an age. I’m an early 30s something bride and I just don’t care what ppl think (shrugs shoulders). And of course, it’s not “stealing my thunder” if someone in the family got preggers and someone stopped talking about my wedding to talk about her baby. Sheesh.
But another thing may be that the younger brides’ parents, in laws, family members ect contribute alot of the time to their weddings. So they have to incorporate what every thinks and how everyone feels and everyone’s opinions into their weddings. It’s usually tapered off by 30s and 40s since we mostly pay for our own weddings.
Post # 13
@katieebee: just wanted to chime in that family/parent drama does not correlate to who foots the bill. DH and I are were both 35 at the time we married and had our share of family angst leading up to it (and we paid for the entire thing). Fortunately, I learned to just smile and tell them thank you for the suggestion – but it sure took some time to learn that lesson.
I think expectations are different when you are older. We’ve all probably been to a lot more weddings and have a clearer picture of what we liked or didn’t like at all those weddings over the years. That was probably the biggest asset to me in wedding planning (all those weddings, showers, and BM’s experiences!)
Post # 14
As a 22 year old bride-to-be, I have no drama. I stay away from it as much as possible. Neither J or I want any part of it. Life is too short.
Post # 15
I am 22 and have no drama really.. besides best man drama. He is leaving our wedding to go to another persons rehursal stuff with his gf.. and hes not inthe wedding.. thats it tho.. Its been great fun bc of the lackof drama.