(Closed) Is the drama limited to the younger bees?

posted 10 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 31
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@KatyElle: I completely agree. I kind of want to shake them and say, “YOU ARE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF. NO ONE IS MISTREATING YOU.”

Post # 32
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@Frog E.: My Future Mother-In-Law is 64… she doesn’t complain about me stealing her son… she called me a temptress and a whore of Babylon when I was all of 18.

Post # 33
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@helenberrycrunch: Yeesh, I’m sorry. There is crazy at all ages, huh?

Post # 34
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@Frog E.: She’s a special sort of crazy, but I just kind of accept it.

Post # 35
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

i think age might have something to do with the drama, but i think that its women in general when you put to many together in one room it just can’t be good.

i feel lately im growing and not caring about what others are doing and saying bc if they can’t say it to me then its just nothing im to worry about i have sworn that im going to enjoy my less then 3 months to the date and NOT TO SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF anymore! yes ive had a lot of drama but ive learned it was to be expected now and just move on some people say things just to get a reaction ive noticed with the famiLy if i have no comment the Mother-In-Law,SIL,Girlfriend seem to move on and stop talking about it bc they were looking for drama i had no responce but OH WELL then they moved on, it was hard to try but funny now that im trying really hard to stay out of the drama and noticed now what i was doing to feed the fire!

and im a true believer that Facebook and texting is a HUGE gossip pool, facebook makes people just go loopy so many people around me refer to facebook and im just not into that and dont have an account. and texting well keep it simple if things get into are you mad? lol then tell them to call you instead bc things just get taken the wrong way sometimes!

Post # 36
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Ms_Smitten: I’m not being a smartypants at all when I say this but I really find it funny the irony of the statement you made then making a disclaimer about it. 🙂  I’m 24 and really, I gave up drama a LONG time ago because there were bigger, much more important things in my life.  

I think some of that you’re seeing is that our generation is much more into putting stuff online.   I’m not so much into putting all of my life out on the internet but sometimes it is good to have a place where you know everyone is doing the same thing you are and you can ask them for advice.  I do think in general, as a blanket statement, there is more drama in your younger years when you are transitioning through so many things than there is in your 40s when you’re more likely to be settled.  For some people, that is not the case.  I also think a lot of people come here to vent so there is more drama in that regard.  Nothing wrong with that, just an observation.

Post # 37
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oh goodness…I was a hot mess in my 20s’ and often created my own drama. However, you’re still trying to figure out what it means to be an adult in your 20s’. Meh….the 20s’ are harder than society and the media let on to!

I think weddings do bring up emotional issues no matter what age people are. Now, I’ve come on here to vent, mainly because I would feel like a big baby to talk about this stuff with people face-to-face. WB gives me a space to get the stuff out of my head and kind of release the stress.

I thought since FH and I are paying for the wedding there would be minimal “drama” around the wedding. Wrong. His mother is behaving in a very immature manner around wedding-related stuff.

So, some of the threads that are created may be due to age and lack of life experience, but it’s also the individual and regardless of his/her age, they’ll always be a bit more on the dramatic side.

Post # 38
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Most of us experience at least some drama in wedding planning, especially given the fact that so many people have their own opinions and ideas about what our wedding should be – and given the fact that we’re bringing two families together that may not see eye to eye. 

I look at Weddingbee as a safe community for us to talk about our issues as they arise as we’re all going through similar things at similar times. The nice thing is – if you don’t want to read about it, you don’t have to. 🙂

Post # 39
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I wouldn’t say I was a drama queen but I was much much more intense in my 20’s so things upset me more. At 40, I’m much calmer and I’ve had no wedding drama. 

Some posts, I have to admit, I think — “CALM DOWN! get some real problems!” and for others, I do completely feel bad for the bride posting. Some are dealing with some real crap…. and I think we can lend some life experience and help them in dealing with it.  But yeah, overall, I think the older you are, the more experience you have, the less drama you have.

 

 

Post # 40
Member
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you don’t have any drama, you probably won’t post, right?

Like others, I don’t think the drama is necessariy tied to age, but when you have it, you probably share it to get some support.

 

I will say that I’m far more accepting and laid back in my 30s than I was in my 20s.  I don’t really feel the need to covince friends and familly to share my point of view anymore. 

Post # 42
Member
4590 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wouldn’t necessarily think it is age based. I didn’t really have drama surrounding my wedding, but it seems to me like there are just as many of the posts you are referring to, as there are about older family members who are causing the drama. I am amazed at how many older aunts and parents are causing such ridiculous drama for no reason, or over something trivial. Makes me that much more thankful for my tame family

Post # 43
Member
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

@noritake22: I really agree with your post.

There are many posts when I read, I can immediately sense its by a younger poster, because by the time we are 30ish+ we’ve (hopefully) learned to get over perceived slights. However, I don’t think though only younger posters have drama, not at all.  

I’m around the corner from  40, and while I personally refuse to engage in drama in my day to day, however, my family has enough nonsense that would drive sane person to madness (if you allowed for it). There have been situations that were out of my control but still impacted me. I seriously could write a book and people not believe some of the crazy scenarios. The good thing, is that throughout my life, I developed strategies (thru trial and error) to learn how to deal with difficult people/situations.  

I simply don’t post about it for a variety of reasons. First, if it doesn’t directly involve me, I don’t feel right about posting it. I’m not wasting type on other folks issues. Second, it’s not my style post about my personal issues or seek advice from the internet. Typically, I’m able to figure things out on my own, but when I need to vent I turn to my off board friends or my therapist (when I was going). However, I do appreciate reading posts on here because my perspective has been  challenged on a number of issues.

One of the best life skills I’ve learned thru time (and it’s a hard lesson to learn) is to not take on other peoples bullshit. That seems to be a recurring theme on here, therefore, why a lot of drama comes about. But once it clicks, man life becomes so much easier.  I used to get so worked up over worry about my friends problems and want to help. Now, I realize people simply need to learn on their own and no amount of fussing will make them change their behavior to accommodate what you think is the right thing (even if your position is correct).

 

Post # 44
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee

@bklynbridetobe:  One of the best life skills I’ve learned thru time (and it’s a hard lesson to learn) is to not take on other peoples bullshit. That seems to be a recurring theme on here, therefore, why a lot of drama comes about. But once it clicks, man life becomes so much easier.  I used to get so worked up over worry about my friends problems and want to help. Now, I realize people simply need to learn on their own and no amount of fussing will make them change their behavior to accommodate what you think is the right thing (even if your position is correct).

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