(Closed) Is the engagement surprise factor gone?

posted 8 years ago in Proposals
Post # 32
15 posts
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’m a little bummed that some of the surprise is gone (I’m the diamond safekeeper, since he was afraid he’d lose it; and he had me pick out what I wanted in a ring, which will be kind of custom and totally not what either one of us had expected when we first started talking marriage)… But it truly is far more important to be partners in making these kinds of large decisions, sets us up for a better beginning to our marriage and hopefully good communication skills that will last our whole lives. There will be many surprises in life, I don’t think marriage & the e-ring should be one of them.  😉 

Post # 33
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Trust me, it will still be a surprise. I knew my Fiance had the ring, I knew he was going to do it on our vacation, but I still went crazy and snatched it out of his hands hahaha 

Post # 34
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

that’s what people said to me ‘it’s suppose to be a surprise’ and that’s just rubbish. I picked out the ring and we talked about getting engaged beforehand but it was still amazing when he proposed and I have a ring I love. we’re getting married just the same as anyone else. 🙂


Post # 35
24 posts

my proposal wasn’t a surprise. It did kind of stink when I got the “how did he do it?!” questions. Our situation just wasn’t one that left room for surprises. I moved internationally to be with my fiancé and we discussed marriage heavily before I got here (I wasnt moving abroad without that promise!). But even though it wasn’t over the top surprise it is still a nice memory and he called my dad to ask his permission. I would have rather had the conversations before the engagement than a big surprise. 

Post # 36
9971 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I loved having a surprise engagement.  I neither picked our my ring, nor knew the proposal was coming.  To me, it was more special this way because of all the effort he put into planning it and picking out the ring.  I was amazed when he told me all the efforts he had gone to with finding the perfect ring and keeping it all a surprise from me.  I would have been disappointed if he asked me to come pick out my own ring, and even more so if I had a hand in planning the proposal.

But that’s just my opinion, and everyone feels differently on this topic.

Post # 37
5521 posts
Bee Keeper

@Benjeweler:  Mine was a complete surprise in as much as we had discussed marriage at length and knew we wanted to get engaged within the next couple of years, but I didn’t realise it would be as soon as it was; I was expecting it to be 4 months later, on our big summer trip to Mexico, but he proposed on a long weekend away in Spain (in hindsight I totally should have seen it coming, but I was so sure he would do it in Mexico that it just never crossed my mind lol).

As far as the ring went, I’d been looking at rings for about 2 years, and happened to stumble on the perfect one about 6 weeks before he proposed, and showed him, thinking he might hopefully remember. Well, he bookmarked the page, and bought it that week lol. So, I guess I did have input in that I found it and showed him, and hoped he’d get it, but we didn’t go shopping together, I didn’t try it first, and had no idea he’d actually bought it; so again, it was a surprise in that sense (I think the first thing I said after ‘Yes!’ was ‘Is that THE ring?’ lol)

I’m glad it was a surprise and that I didn’t know he’d bought the ring; it was fun that way. Equally though, I think it would still have been lovely even if I knew he had the ring and was going to propose within x time-frame. I say this because my now ring is an upgraded replica of my original. I was very much involved in the process, and went with him to collect it, and even stored it at mine (we lived separately at that point). But he wanted to make an occasion of giving it to me, so even though it was right there in my house, I couldn’t have it! He ended up giving it to me on a weekend break in London, and it was absolutely lovely; I still cried even though we were already engaged! So I don’t think it’s any less special doing it that way 🙂

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