(Closed) Is the first year of marriage really the hardest?

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 32
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve been wondering the same. We have a while to go until our wedding.

This past year has been really rough (we’re in year # 7 now, in year # 2 of living together)~ what was that about year #7 being hard?  There were a few times where we had breakdowns larger than we’ve ever had. In the end, we obviously stuck by each other and never gave up and still got engaged. 

Has anyone had this discussion with their spouse/FI: 

Maybe we *should* have gotten married sooner? back when things were blissful and we were naive to what a long-term relationship can be like. back when we were infatuated with each other and had those blissful giddy new couple butterfly hearts-maybe if we had gotten married after the first 2 yrs or so, this wouldn’t be so difficult? we wouldn’t have to think, “oh no…can I live with this for the REST of my life?” because we’d be still so head over heels for each other. 

now, granted, we still get that excited feeling for each other every now and again but everyone just tells us we’re “like an old married couple” bickering and houding on each other. we still have great intimate relationship and have a lot of fun together but its NOT like it was when we were younger and saw hearts floating around the room. 

I’m glad we decided to wait because we were in school and younger, but we still think about this sometimes…if we had married sooner, would we have enjoyed it more? and enjoy our first year married more? 


I feel that maybe our first year married will be great, since it will finally be “official” and the planning stress will be over, but we’ll have a BIG move ahead of us, starting our PhD’s and we might have those “freak out” sessions. 


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