(Closed) Is the groom supposed to be at the bridal shower?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Is the groom supposed to be at the bridal shower?

    Yes, the whole time

    Only for opening gifts

    Only to say thank you at the end

    No, not at all

  • Post # 2
    7268 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    It really doesn’t matter. I think the most “traditional” thing is for the groom to show up at the very end with flowers for the bride and to thank people for the gifts. But I don’t think there’s a rule about this. We had a couples shower so dh was present for it.

    Post # 3
    30392 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    This should be up to the host. While they may ask you for input on the guest list, it is the perogative of the host to decide if they want a traditional women only shower, if they are ok with the groom making an appearance towards the end, or if they want to host a couples shower, where the goom isn’t the only man in attendance.

    Post # 4
    3713 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Mine came to my bridal shower at the very end to help load gifts. By thay point the majority of the guests had left, but he was able thank my family members who had thrown the shower. We had a couples shower as well thrown by his family, so he was obviously there for that. I would find it odd for the guy to be at the bridal shower the entire time just because it is seen as a “girls only” event in my circle.

    Post # 5
    933 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    Most bridal showers I’ve been to (and will be the same with mine) is the groom shows up at the end to thank everyone and help clean up and transport all the gifts. But, you can also have a nontraditional bridal shower and have the groom there the whole time. There’s not really a right or wrong, just what you/the host prefer.

    Post # 6
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    Mine came at the very end of the shower after the gifts were opened. He was able to socialize with his family that came to the shower and helped with the presents. 

    Post # 7
    2125 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I didn’t have a shower because I’m terrified of being the centre of attention, but I’ve been to far too many showers myself and the groom always shows up at the end, with flowers for the bride, to say thank you to everyone.

    Post # 8
    637 posts
    Busy bee

    It doesn’t matter IMO. Same with baby showers. Had a lot of coed parties lately for both and it was more fun for me. 

    Post # 9
    4964 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    cjm18 :  I have to give you two answers:

    • From what I read here at the weddingbees and what I see on tv/movies, bridal showers have women guests only and the groom is not in attendance (maybe at the very end only to help & thank like what PP’s have said).
    • However in real life, all the bridal showers I have attended, the groom is in attendance the whole time and male guests are invited as well.
    Post # 10
    1364 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2020

    I have no idea what is normal, but I think it’s up to the couple and/or hosts of the shower. 

    The one show I went to, both the groom and bride were there since they were gifts for both of them (including a leaf blower and other things he really liked). All the guests were women though *shrug*

    Post # 11
    323 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    I know traditionally it’s a women’s only event (and not one that is common where I come from anyway). But the one’s I have seen are less sexist, and are coed so both of the couple can enjoy a party in their honour with all groups of friends.

    Post # 12
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Either invite the groom and a mix of male and female guests (coed / couples shower), or keep it to just the ladies (groom isn’t there, or at most pops in at the end).

    Having a full party with one man in a group of all women is just weird IMO.

    Post # 13
    1138 posts
    Bumble bee

    I find the whole concept of inviting only females to be weird and that includes all kinds of showers. Especially if you have male friends which is increasingly common, it would feel sexist to not invite your good friend just because of his gender. But I digress.

    I say do whatever you and your fiancé feel most comfortable with. If he wants to be there, be there. I’ve been to a baby shower where the future dad was there because well…it’s his house too lol..it wasn’t weird. I was glad he was there because this couple are my fiancé’s friends so I don’t actually know majority of the ladies attended and I hate small talk, especially LADIES small talk. So I enjoyed cracking a few jokes with him and just generally chatting about non-girly non-baby stuff.

    I’ve been invited to co-ed showers (didn’t end up making it), and seen combined bachelor and bachelorette parties, they all looked super fun and relaxed. Just a thought.

    Post # 14
    1110 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    I had only been to one shower prior to my own and the groom was there the whole time and it seemed so natural for him to be there mingling as many of the guests were his family members and mutual friends. So I asked my DH if he’d be present too.

    Post # 15
    224 posts
    Helper bee

    Mine is going to be coming at the end to thank everyone and help load up the gifts. I’m partly doing this so he can see his family and I think it’s polite since the gifts are for both of us, and partly because the shower is at my parents house and he needs to go there anyways to use their woodworking tools to finish our table numbers, double win for me haha. 

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