Post # 16
- Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club
I agree with PP to ask your Future Mother-In-Law. I’ve also heard it’s good to invite any ladies who are invited to your wedding.
I think that the gesture of invitig them all would probably be stronger than any silly “gift grab” feelings, especially if the family gets along well anyway.
Post # 17
I’m inviting his aunt, cousin, and second cousin (along with his mother). They are invited to the wedding. The second cousin is our flower girl as well.
Post # 18
My mom and my bridesmaids are co-hosting my shower. My mom is paying for the large majority, and my sister (my MOH) is doing the majority of the organizing. While my Future Mother-In-Law offered to pay for half, my mom politely declined since she funded my sister’s bridal shower a few years before (my parents do things very fairly, so what one child get, the others get it too).
All that being said, I did invite my FI’s aunts and female cousins, for a couple of reasons: 1. I’ve met them all and have known them for almost 9 years, and I get along with all of my FI’s cousins quite well 2. I’ve been to their bridal showers in the past and 3. (and most importantly) I didn’t want hurt feelings, where people felt excluded. My mom was okay with it, so we’re good!
Post # 19
In my area, it is common for the groom’s side to host a shower for the bride independently, so I don’t think there is anything wrong with inviting them to a single event. His aunts maybe willing to be the official hosts with your mother’s support.
Post # 20
- Wedding: June 2014 - Gold Hill Gardens
My shower is being thrown by his family mostly, with my Maid/Matron of Honor helping. My parents and family live out of state and his aunt really wanted to host it. I feel very lucky!
Post # 21
I had my Mother-In-Law give me a list of who should come to the shower. And I think even though your mom is hosting it, your FI’s family should be involved too.
Post # 22
Yep, inviting the ones you know is fine. I was invited to my male cousin’s spouse’s baby and bridal showers.
Since my shower was a decent size (25 people) I was able to invite FI’s close aunts/cousins who we see all the time, and even his other cousins who I’ve met probably once a year for the three years we’ve been together.
Post # 23
I asked husband who to invite and my sister (MOH) invited them.
Later my Mother-In-Law asked if we had invited certain people because she wanted to drive with them! I hadn’t – not because they weren’t welcome but because husband didn’t tell me too. They got late invites and all came together, which was lovely.
My point it -ask Future Mother-In-Law and don’t just count on FH. And only invite people that are invited to the wedding!
Post # 24
I’d invite all the females we are close too on both sides… bridesmaids, sisters, mothers, aunts, cousins, godmothers, grandmothers – maybe a few friends and co-workers if we plan on inviting them to the wedding.
Post # 25
If they are invited to the wedding, are family and are female – they are invited to the shower. Simple!
Think of the shower as a way for the women of the family to start including you in their lives, giving you marriage advice and verbally accepting you as part of the family. You have to meet them soon enough and the shower is the perfect place to do so. It also helps make the wedding more fun because the amazing women in your life now know the amazing women in your FI’s life and they can have an even better time at the wedding hanging out together because they met and got to know each other in a relaxed setting.
Post # 26
Ask your mom first since she’s the host. If she doesn’t want to pay for the larger # of ppl or doesn’t have space to accommodate them, you’ll start a mess if you first ask your Future Mother-In-Law. If your mom doesnt want to invite all the ppl that your Future Mother-In-Law does, it can either just be ignored or your Future Mother-In-Law can host her own shower. But asking your Future Mother-In-Law before checking with your own mom could easily cause unnecessary drama.
Post # 27
We only invited the groom’s mother and grandmother (5 hours away), and sister and niece (7 hours) – the niece is a bridesmaid. The sister is picking up the mother and grandmother, to get here. Since all the other guests, from his side are at least 5 hours away, we didn’t issue them invitations, since we felt it would look like a gift grab. For my 1st daughter to marry we limited it to those who lived within and hour away. I asked a few that were on the border line, if they wanted an invitation, and they said no.