(Closed) Is the idea of being engaged better than the reality?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Is the idea of being engaged better than the reality?
    Yes : (74 votes)
    43 %
    No : (59 votes)
    34 %
    What are you talking about? : (31 votes)
    18 %
    Other (please explain below) : (8 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9627 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    yes. i thought i would be happier after being engaged, i thought there would be a lot more wedding talk going on, and when telling people i was engaged, i thought more would ask how he asked, etc.. only a handful did. first time in my life i wanted attention, etc. didn’t happen. and i feel guilty for being jealous about one of my friends from high school getting engaged earlier this month (i got engaged in January), she is getting married this december or january, she had about 100 comments on her facebook, i had about 15. i just wish i could start trying on dresses, visiting venues, but our wedding is 3+ years away.

    and I am not as happy being engaged as I thought I would be, but since I probably have depression I understand why. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee

    I can’t really help with this 1 as I don’t know what it’s like to be engaged but I will keep an eye on this post πŸ™‚ o and I see you are not far from me!!!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1766 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    The reality is always different than our fantasies. That is not to say that it would be better or worse than what you imagine. 

    As for what being engaged is like; There is a “giddy” phase where it’s all fresh and new. Then you start planning your wedding, realize how stressful it is and how much $$$ is costs and eventually you reach the point when you just want this whole wedding to be over already.

    Post # 6
    Member
    9627 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    but the moment you get engaged is as good, if not even better than fantasies πŸ™‚ (and my FI’s planned proposal was actually one of my fantasy proposals!)

    Post # 7
    Member
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I guess it depends on the person. Getting engaged was just as I had imagined. We were very happy and excited, and still are a year and a half later (he proposed november 2010)…even though are wedding isn’t until August. The relationshiop definitely goes through a giddy phase and then evenually goes back to “normal”. There’s still something different about us though.. I think it’s just that we’re so excited to start this new chapter of our lives together.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1611 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Don’t get me wrong, I am excited to marry my Fiance, but once the excitement of being engaged and getting the ring is gone, it feels the same as it did before we were engaged, but now I have the added stress of wedding planning and everything that goes with it.  

    Post # 9
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I guess it depends on what your idea is.

    I was proposed to, was immediately congratualted by several people, kissed under fireworks, was carried away to a surprise party where everyone was exstatic for us, posted it on facebook and was congratulated, and began wedding planning.

    Every moment for the next 6 months wasn’t about me and my wedding, but it was a fun time for what it was. I’m glad it’s over because it was sometimes stressful.

    Post # 10
    Member
    320 posts
    Helper bee

    I answered “other”, I have a feeling that the idea of being engaged is 10x more exciting than actually being engaged. But we will just have to see… I will get back to you with an answer in 2020 when I finally get engaged, hahahahaha πŸ™‚

    Post # 11
    Member
    586 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    It is a little more dull than I expected mainly because my friends don’t seem too excited and when I went back to work no one noticed the ring. Plus his facebook wall blew up with comments and mine only had one from my brother.

    We have been LDR basically our entire relationship but would see each other for breaks from college and the 4 month break from summer and now we are only about a hour away we meet up every weekend. On the plus side I feel it is a lot easier now to plan for the future of where we will live and other big life choices now that there is some comitment.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9627 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    @Kari 2012:  i was the same with work – no one noticed the ring, i had to say something πŸ˜›

    Post # 13
    Member
    234 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I really enjoyed the first weeks of being engaged very much! it was such a “strange” feeling to call the man I’ve lived with 4 years and being together with 4 1/2 years my fiance;-) But such a good on! We have now 4 1/2 months to go until our wedding and I still enjoy the feeling, but you are “getting used” somehow to being engaged. Probably it will be the same after the wedding. It is most exciting when the feeling is fresh, just when you are falling in love;-) I’m really trying to enjoy the following months and soaking in all the joy and stress and so on which will be connected to the wedding. And I really don’t want that special day to be over! πŸ˜‰

    Post # 14
    Hostess
    16215 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    For me, the anticipation lived up to the real excitement. That’s not to say that every second of my 2+ year engagement was all glitter and giddy feelings, but overall, our engagement was so fun, so special, and so full of the love of our friends and family. We didn’t get stressed until about the month before the wedding.

    Post # 15
    Member
    12956 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think I was super excited in the beginning, and then when I started getting quotes for different things, the excitement turned into stress.  Money makes everything harder.  But, I’m still really excited to marry my best friend, and that isn’t going away!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Mine has gone from super excited— to stressed — to back to normal — to stressed… and it continues. Between the Fiance and I, nothing has changed. We already live together, share incomes, have foster dog children, etc. So really, all engagement was for us was a ring on my finger, reassurance to my family that we would actually go through with it, and a way to convince some vendors that we were serious.

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