(Closed) is the MOG wrong? how do I deal with this?

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1261 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

If you don’t want her there, that’s a different story. I would let Future Mother-In-Law know “you know, this is something that I was really hoping would just be us. Thanks so much for understanding!”

Post # 18
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you are completely justified for the way you feel. How does your Fiance feel about it?

@Misshelen- I think the way you worded it sounded very good.

Post # 20
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I partially agree with what everyone is saying…if she is going in place of your Future Father-In-Law that’s one thing but to go in addition to him is unacceptable. I also think it maybe isn’t the daughter’s place to attend because this is a meeting with a vendor. You will undoubtedly be talking and prices and contracts, etc. In my opinion, that is none of the daighters business, especially if YOUR parents are the ones paying. If you won’t be having any of these conversations you will strictly be putting food in your mouth and she’s a replacement for Future Father-In-Law then I’d probably let her come. If that isn’t the case I would have Fiance talk to the in-laws and explain why this isn’t appropriate. Good luck and enjoy all the yummy food!

Post # 21
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Can you spin it in a positive way? Like say that this is a special bonding time for your and his parents.  That your parents would like to get to know them more and you think its a great setting for both families to come together and colloborate on the wedding.

Post # 22
Member
2148 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@blingqueen…I understand where you are coming from. Usually those people whose opinion the Bride & Groom value (typically parents) are invited along to the tasting. I wouldn’t want uninvited people either. After all, they will be eating the same food at the reception so why does she need to come for the tasting?

I would just politely state that it will be you, your Fiance,a nd tha parents and if a parent is unable to attend, they won’t get to have input into the food selections. They cannot send a “substitute” in their place. It’s not so much abt the numbers as it is about wanting people who you actually WANT input from..attending.

Post # 23
Member
767 posts
Busy bee

If you do not dislike her I don’t understand why you don’t want her there. 

Post # 24
Member
1300 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

it sounds like you want this particular moment between you your FH and each of your parents – make that clear to your Future Mother-In-Law or to your FH (for him to discuss with her) and make it clear that its not that you dont like her sister, its just that something you see for parents and the bride and groom. if you phrase it as more like “i want the parents there and only parents like they stipulated” and less of “geeze cant yall follow directions” it might come across better?

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