(Closed) Is the parents paying tradition dead?

posted 5 years ago in Money
  • poll: Who is paying for your wedding?
    The bride's family : (72 votes)
    23 %
    The groom's family : (4 votes)
    1 %
    A combination of the bride's family and the groom's family : (19 votes)
    6 %
    The bride : (8 votes)
    3 %
    The groom : (7 votes)
    2 %
    The bride and groom : (93 votes)
    30 %
    A combination of the bride and groom and their families : (111 votes)
    35 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6359 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’m from an upper middle class family and Fiance and I will be paying for the whole wedding. I never really thought to ask anyone else to chip in, and our parents haven’t offered. I guess it’s early yet in the planning so mine might offer down the road, but if they do, that’ll be kind of awkward. I haven’t depended on my parents financially for a long time. We support FI’s mother financially. *shrug*

    Post # 4
    Member
    648 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    None of my friends are married yet, so I don’t have any friends to compare my situation to. However, a couple of years ago I mentioned to my parents that I was starting to save for my wedding, but they told me that they insist on paying for my wedding. Although my family is very well off, I never just assumed that my parents would pay, so it was a nice surprise. My dad even asked me what I wanted to budget to be, but I told him I would be more comfortable with him setting a budget of his own choosing.

    The only comparison I can make is with my boyfriend’s brother who got engaged last month. His fiancee’s family are well off but are refusing to help pay for their wedding. Although I think it’s because they don’t approve of him, as it clearly isn’t because they can’t afford to help financially.

    Post # 5
    Member
    870 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’m also 22 but I (the bride) will be paying for most of the wedding by myself.  My parents are paying for a little bit (paying for the florist) but other than that…pretty much all me…My Fiance just recently got a job though so now he will be helping me financially, thank goodness.

    Post # 6
    Member
    668 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My parent’s are paying for the majority. Essentially they are taking care of the big stuff (venue, dress, caterer, food, drinks, photography, and band) and I am paying for the smaller stuff myself (hair, makeup, shoes, jewelry, cake, cake topper, favors, decorations, and flowers). I’m doing a LOT DIY so it’s been pretty reasonable so far. And then my Fiance and I are paying for the honeymoon together. So I guess it’s a colaboration!

     

    Edit >> My Fiance and I are both 30 and own a home together (although it’s in my name). I am employeed full time and he is on disabiltiy pay due to a work injury. The tradition is not dead but I think it’s evolved.

    Post # 7
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m 37, this is not my first marrage.  I’d rather my parents worry about saving up for retirement at this point.  So… times they are a changing.

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    8579 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Me & fi are paying for our wedding.

    I knew from a very young age my mother wasn’t saving anything for my wedding, she’s horrible with money and blows it as soon as it hits her pocket. She doesn’t even have a dime saved for her retirement either.

    I don’t feel bad, sure it’d be nice for my wedding to be paid for, but I think I’ll certainly appreciate it ALOT more than other girls I know who had a 50,000+ funded by her parents, she talks about it like it was awful, because she didn’t get everything she wanted! Geesh!

    Post # 9
    Member
    8695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My parents are paying the majority. I am paying for the smaller things. My Fiance is covering the honeymoon. His father is deceased and his mother is unable to help and we would never ask. My friend is also from an upper middle class family and she said her parents always told them they wouldnt pay bc they paid for their college undergrad and grad and believed they had a good start for jobs to have the money on their own. 

    Post # 12
    Hostess
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I don’t think that’s the standard anymore.

    In my case, my parents said “We have X amount of money that we’d like to give you as a wedding present. If you’d like to use it on your wedding, that’s up to you.”

    DH’s parents said “We have X amount of money we want to give you if you have a big family wedding.”

    Two different interpretations of the parents paying tradition, both totally generous and unexpected. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1805 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    It does seem like the tradition is dying! Most people I know paid for their own wedding, I have been to a couple where just the brides parents paid. My mom isn’t in a financial place to pay for a wedding so we just decided to pay for our own wedding but my FIs parents have contributed 5000 which has been really great!

    Post # 14
    Member
    2952 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1998

    It seems to be the case. Most couples are now marrying a lot later in life so things have changed.  I would still want to contribute something to my childrens weddings. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My parents are paying about half. I didn’t expect them to and am very grateful to them. It was a nice gesture 🙂

    The topic ‘Is the parents paying tradition dead?’ is closed to new replies.

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