(Closed) Is the parents paying tradition dead?

posted 8 years ago in Money
  • poll: Who is paying for your wedding?

    The bride's family

    The groom's family

    A combination of the bride's family and the groom's family

    The bride

    The groom

    The bride and groom

    A combination of the bride and groom and their families

  • Post # 92
    85 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    We are insanely blessed with so many talented and generous people in our lives who are helping us throw a smallish (about 120-130 ppl) mostly family wedding.

    My Dad was supposed to pay for only the big stuff (up to approx $5k) but now has been sneaky and is contributing so much more including (I think…Like I said sneaky LOL) part of our honeymoon. He could not pay for my college education as planned (my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer my Freshman year of college so my college fund went into keeping her healthy and with us for an extra year! Wouldn’t trade it for the world!!!) My mother paid for my dress ($1K for everything including alterations) through a fund she set up before she passed.

    My stepsister is our photographer and is not only gifting her time but also the prints (Crazy generous!). My FI’s BM’s Mom is doing our invites with calligraphy ( Sooo generous!). Our good friend is gifting his talent as a DJ (again so blessed!). Even our venue is being really generous and accomodating by gifting us the transportation for my bridal party and out of town guests to and from the wedding.

    Like I said we are really, really blessed! 

    Post # 93
    7397 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It’s not that it’s dead, it’s that times have changed and circumstances are different. When that first started and was most common, people were getting married MUCH younger – and brides were traditionally going from their parents home right to their husbands home. Not many went to college, nor did that have savings. It was common for the parents to pay.

    These days more people are going to college, getting married at a later age, and establishing themselves (buying homes, cars, etc) before being married.

    I personally had always assumed my parents would not be paying, considering I’d lived independently with DH (then BF) for 6+ years when we got engaged. I was pleasantly surprised when my dad offered up money, and a very generous amount. I had not expected it. I would have planned the whole wedding on that amount, which would have been plenty for a smaller but still very nice wedding. DH on the other hand wanted to “go big”, and because of that I let him know that anything above that he wanted would be his responsibility. He ended up doubling (or more) my dad’s amount, and paid the difference himself. 

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