(Closed) Is the ring/proposal indicative of the way he will treat you in the marriage?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Is the ring/proposal indicative of the way he will treat you in the marriage?
    Yes, of course : (3 votes)
    8 %
    Maybe : (13 votes)
    33 %
    Hell no : (21 votes)
    54 %
    You are horrible for even asking this question : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1559 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I said maybe. 

    I will say straight out that I *hate* girls who say “Oh, he got me a huge rock, that means he loves me”. I do not think that the size of the ring reflects how much he cares, but more how big his budget is. 

    However, the amount of care he takes to get you a ring you will love- that shows how much he cares. Whether this is a man getting a girl a huge rock, a tiny stone, a non-diamond, or a vintage or heirloom ring- if a guy knows the woman he loves, and he takes the time to pick out a ring she will love… that shows he cares, no matter how much he spends. 

    As for the proposal…. it depends on the guy. I will say that my Fiance really took a lot of time and effort for our proposal, and it was very romantic and perfect for me. 

    That being said, I’ve known girls who have been proposed to while cuddling in bed, and that was perfect for them. It really depends on the couple. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @tinylittlebird: Oooh, everything you said :).

    We had a casual, laid back proposal, and it was very us. That said, he’s not a lazy person when it comes to our relationship. If he knows something’s wrong, he does his best to fix it.

    I think the ring has more to do with the lady’s tastes. I basically picked out my ring myself, and Fiance agreed to it because he knows it’s what makes me happy :). I’m not terribly overbearing in our relationship, I just really like jewelry.

    Still, I guess if a guy was a complete jerk and threw the ring at you, you might have a problem further on in your relationship, lol.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1359 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    cheese and rice, I hope not!!

    I can see where your mom is coming from saying that a proposal might indicate how he values you, but it’s definitely not the only way to see how a man values you. Some guys are just nervous when it comes to proposals or do not know what ring to get – they certainly aren’t doomed for a marriage where they treat their partner worse than a man who buys a honkin’ 2-carat and proposes at the Eiffel Tower! 😉

    I wouldn’t worry about it. Especially since sometimes men propose without a ring. Or give a ring without a proposal. LOL. It all depends on the individuals, and the couple.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2091 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Absolutely not. I did not have a romantic, thought-out, over the top loving proposal, but that in no way means my marriage won’t be as good or as happy as someone who did get that type of proposal. I had the cuddling in bed “okay go ahead start planning” kind, we knew for months beforehand we were getting married, it was just a question of when.

    As for the ring… I’ll be honest; it cost less than $300. It was perfect and it was what we could afford. There’s a lot of love and sentiment behind the ring I wear, it symbolizes that the man I love loves me back and wants to spend his life with me. Expensive =/= more love. 

    I didn’t get a typical proposal, I didn’t get the typical diamond solitaire, but I know my marriage will be successful because of our relationship, our compatibility, and the love we have for each other. It has nothing to do with the romance or the ring.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I don’t think the ring has anything to do with it.  I think the thought that he put into the ring means a lot.

    Again, I think the thought he puts into the proposal could be indicative of his intentions.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1359 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @jackndiane: generational thing = makes total sense.

    all my grandmothers would ask about was how he asked, if he had a stable job, our plans to buy a house, why we were having such a long engagement – “if you know you love each other go to the town hall!”

    then our parents wanted us to have a long engagement to plan better. lol.

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