(Closed) Is the wedding "supposed" to take place near where the bride grew up?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it expected that the wedding will be near where the bride grew up?
    Yes, always : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Yes, if it's a place she's fond of : (9 votes)
    9 %
    No : (8 votes)
    8 %
    No, but it is weird to have it near where the groom grew up : (0 votes)
    Wedding location is totally the couple's choice and can be anywhere : (87 votes)
    83 %
  • Post # 3
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @Creiddylad:  How far away did you grow up? 

    With my first wedding, my ex and I lived in San diego, I grew up in Tampa, he grew up in Connecticut. We got married in Tampa, but it was also a shorter flight for his family. We were originally looking at Vegas or San Diego.

    With my second wedding, we still live in the same county that we both grew up in. The church/hall is in his home town, but that’s only 10 minutes from where I grew up. 

    Post # 4
    2223 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I think it’s traditional, but nowadays, I think couples are a lot more flexible. Fiance and I are getting married near HIS home, not mine, because I grew up in boring-ville, USA and his family has a house on the beach. I say do whatever you like!

    Post # 5
    2685 posts
    Sugar bee

    I have never heard of a rule for this, but the “trend” may be explained by who is paying for the wedding.  If the parents are footing the bill for the venue, they gain a voice and leverage in the decision.  Naturally, most parents will opt for something closer to them or their side of the family given the choice.    But, outside of parents paying for the venue, I have never seen a rule or tradition that the bride must marry in her hometown.

    Post # 7
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    That probably used to be the case. But these days people have friends from all over and the couple themselves might eve somewhere completely different. So it’s a silly “rule”. Have it where it’s most convenient for you!

    Post # 8
    7649 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @Creiddylad:  I’ve never heard of that. Had we done it that way, we would have had two choices for venues and one for church, lol. We got married closer to where he grew up, although that wasn’t the reason. It was just a more centralized location for our guests and had more options (both for us in planning and our guests as far as lodging).

    Post # 9
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Um.. I grew up in a town of like 200 people. There is NO reception venue at all.. no community building, no american legion… there is a firehouse but they don’t rent it out.

    So that would be impossible for me.

    Post # 10
    7211 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @Creiddylad:  I think that it is traditional to have it near the bride’s hometown, but I imagine that’s mostly because its traditional for the bride’s parents to pay for the wedding. It makes sense it should be most convenient for whomever is shelling out the dough.

    Fi and I are looking at San Diego, which is his hometown and about two hours from my hometown and maybe 2.5 from our current home. We are paying for the wedding entirely. We chose San Diego because a lot of our special dates (and our engagement!) occurred there.  

    Post # 11
    5660 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Wedding location is supposed to be wherever the heck you want it to be and can afford.

    Post # 12
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee

    This hails back to the day when bride’s moved out of their parents home when they married and became SAHM’s.  Since the bride’s parents always hosted, the wedding was in her hometown/church.

    It is perfectly understandable that you would want to marry where you currently live.

    Post # 13
    2532 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I would bet this has something to do with whether the bride’s parents pay for the wedding. Their money, their choice.

    We are paying for our wedding ourselves, and the venue we chose isn’t really close to where either of us grew up (though oddly it’s close to where I work – didn’t realize that until after haha)

    Post # 14
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’ve never heard of this rule before!  It really wouldn’t work for my family anyway though, because we’re all spread out all over the world and most of us aren’t living in the country we grew up in. 😛  I think it’s much more common to hold weddings where the bride and groom currently live/want to settle down!

    Post # 15
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @Creiddylad:  I think traditionally it’s near the bride’s hometown, but I agree with PPs that it has to do with the bride’s parents hosting. My parents took it so seriously that they got married on the farm where my mom grew up! (lol I don’t think they really took it that seriously, it was just a beautiful, cost-effective location to have their wedding)

    Nowadays the wedding is wherever the couple wants it to be. I’ve been to weddings near the groom’s hometown, near where the couple currently lives, and where the B&G went to school/met. Our wedding will be near my hometown, but Fiance and I are from the same hometown. We could just as easily have it near where we live now (although it would be more expensive!) and no one would bat an eye.

    Post # 16
    1995 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Like others have said, I’ll bet that the fact that it was expected that a bride’s mother would host the wedding probably had a lot to do with the expectation that it would be located near the bride’s hometown (this makes the assumption that the parents still lived where the bride grew up): to my mind it would make sense that the bride’s mother would use her preferred vendors, who would presumably be local, as she planned the event.

    Now that many couples assume the planning and hosting, if not financing, of their own weddings, it would make sense in many cases for those couples to work with their preferred vendors who would probably be local to them.  Certainly there are cases where a bride or groom has maintained ties with his or her hometown that allow him or her to plan from afar, but that’s not going to be the situation for everyone.

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