(Closed) Is there a class for that?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

What are your favorite activities/passions/passtimes/sports etc?

Post # 4
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I have seen a class called “speaking with confidence” before ..but I am all the way here in toronto , ontario – so probably not much help!! my advice would be to take a drama or improv class … i think it would help you come out of your shell ๐Ÿ™‚  and it would be fun too !

Post # 6
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Big hugs to you and I applaud your efforts to conquer your fears.  

First, give yourself grace and realize that your journey will be a process of small failures and successes, as you figure out what works best for you.

Start by embracing a mantra of ‘what other people think don’t matter’.  Because REALLY at the end of the day, they really don’t.  I think a lot of social anxiety is about what the other person thinks or you think they may be communicating.

I’m not going to pretend that you still won’t care about what the other person thinks – I’m hoping with the new mantra, that it won’t have as much weight.

I also think that mirroring the behavior of social people also helps.  Watching how they interact, their level of comfort, physical proximity, etc may help.  Is there anyone in your life/church? you could do that with?  Family?  FI?

When I get nervous in social situations, I ask people genuine questions about themselves.  I’ve found that people love talking about themselves and as long as I’m genuinely interested in learning about them, it’s a win.  It’s an interesting conversation and I learn something about them.  

If thinking about what questions to ask is troublesome for you, maybe think about a few questions you can ask ahead of time (that you can keep in your arsenal) (based on any specifics about FI’s family you are aware of).  

Social interaction, IMO, is not about being the life of a party (or knowing how to tell a joke) but in being kind and considerate to people and interested in learning something about them.

Post # 8
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@LadySapphire: Do you have a leisure or activity centre where you live? I know the one in our town actually does have classes that cover this ๐Ÿ™‚ You can take classes like, “Stop being shy!” or “Learn to speak with confidence.” I think it would be totally helpful to attend a class like this with other people who are experiencing the same thing. Our univeristy also offers online courses like this too if you wanted to try one out first without going into an actual classroom. Good Luck!

Post # 9
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I wish I could offer you some words of wisdom, but just know that sometimes I go through this too. I struggle with my family functions to the point I find out that I lash out them. 

Post # 10
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Just join a club! Start a band or a jam session – you sound very musical. Go to a pickup game for whatever sport. I think that social situations are less awkward if you’re doing something. It takes the pressure off.

Post # 11
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@LadySapphire: Lean on Fiance for help for the family meet up and give yourself an ‘out’ if you  need to step out of the gathering to compose yourself.

Have you ever been in a social setting where you felt you didn’t shout or be rude, etc?

Post # 13
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

have you ever read “7 habits of highly effective people?”

One of the most interesting things that it taught me to start thinking about, was to not even think about myself so much, rather to just start *caring* about other people so much that you *want* to talk to them and get to know them and care about them. And then you realize that since you are only concerend about *them*, that you stop worrying about how they view you!

Post # 14
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I definately think that you would benefit from one of those “speaking with confidence” sort of courses. I’m pretty shy myself (just around people I don’t know) and have often thought that it would be beneficial. Also, as some other people have suggested, there is a huge variety of “self-help” sort of books available, perhaps that would be a good way to “ease yourself into it”.

Good luck, you should be proud of yourself for wanting to make a change ๐Ÿ™‚

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