(Closed) Is there a legal way to give someone the same rights as a spouse w/o marriage?

posted 6 years ago in Legal
Post # 3
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Does your phone have ICE contacts designated? Or could you get a bracelet like the RoadID ones that has your preferred emergency info right on your wrist?


This doesn’t solve your question, really, but it might help the practical aspect. :

Post # 4
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I work in the health field. Aside from making someone your POA or having a will, you can also make someone your “legal guardian” in case you can’t make decisions.  The hospital made a big mistake, they should have called your POA. If they couldn’t contact your POA then at that point they should have tried your “next of kin” which is your mom.

What is it that you do not want done to you? You could also set up a DNR (do not resuscitate) order.

Just google “advance directives” and find out what people do in your state, etc. Also, if this is very important to you I would wear a metal tag necklace with this info on it just in case.

Post # 5
2601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, in an emergency a hospital might just do whatever they think is necessary–ie, the cell phone seems like an obvious choice, especially over sorting through someone’s wallet.

I’m not sure that that the problem is the Living Will or Power of Attorney; I think the problem in this case was your cellphone. Was your mother listed as “Mom” in contacts? Or with the same last name as yours? Consider switching the name out for just her first name or her first + maiden. Then, take your emergency contact and list them under something like “Emergency contact.” That way, if you’re ever caught in an emergency again, your cell phone will lead them to the right person.

Post # 6
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m pretty sure that legally you can’t get much more official then power of attorney/living will etc.  You may be able to have a note added to your medical records listing your best friend as your next of kin.  Otherwise I would second the idea of a medical alert bracelet and ICE contacts in your phone.  In an accident the EMT and hospital aren’t going to know anything about your situation, so those are your best bets to notify them.

Post # 7
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You can give some of the rights of next of kin, but not all.  If you google rights & same sex marriages I’m sure you’ll get some good hits that will tell you what you can contract (e.g. POA, living will, etc.) and what you can’t.  (I think the hospital might be able to refuse to have your friend in the room but they can’t refuse say a spouse?) Good for you for taking the steps you have already, just make sure your friend knows specifically what you want done in situations.  That means don’t tell her “no heroic measures” unless you explain what you think a heroic measure is – rescuitation?  life support?  IV?  blood transfusions?  Everyone varies, and you should get really specific and detailed.

Regarding the hospital, they screwed up and should acknowledge it.  Ask them how it happened, and what they will do to ensure it doesn’t happen again to you or someone else.  And as another posted mentioned, don’t have her in your phone as “mom” or with your last name.

Post # 8
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Definitely make your designated person your ICE. I have Mom as Mom, Dad as Dad, and both their numbers are under ICE, but I will obviously change that to FH once we get to that stage of the game.

Post # 10
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m a little confused. Is your friend officially your health care POA? How did the hospital get your mother’s phone number? If it was via your phone, and the number is listed under “Mom”, I would change it to just her first name as someone else suggested. Also, just FYI, in the case of a true emergency, if you are incapacitated, you may receive blood products in transit to the ED, or in the trauma bay, as the paramedics and trauma staff will not check with your POA if your injuries are life threatening. You may want to consider wearing a medical alert bracelet that states your wishes.

Post # 12
5544 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

@wolfpackforever:  I think that sounds good but be aware as a PP said, if it really is a tramatic emergency, generally the ER/EMTs do whatever they need to that will save the persons life in the interm of finding out their wishes and a next of kin. They don’t want to waste the time of someone bleeding out in the table to find out “Oh, they have objections to blood products!” because if that person dies while they are sitting around not fixing it they can and most likely WILL be sued by the family, especially if your family doesn’t agree with this belief. 

Post # 13
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

agree about living will/POA. Obviously this isn’t going to work for every situation, but if there is a hospital you tend to go to, make sure that they havea  copy of the paperwork on file. I’ve gone through this, and it’s helpful for them to have it on file (I hve some chronic health problems so any of the hospitals I go to, have this information). Also a card in your wallet and medical bracelet. I have a card in my wallet with this information, but it also includes my primary care dr’s #, my name/address, and medications – it’s also handy any time I go to the hospital/dr’s office (instead of dragging my medications w/ me, I just have this card). 

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