(Closed) Is there a nice way to tell someone they don't have to bring a gift?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1635 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Phone call. 

Send the invite. Give him a call or let him know in person. Treat him like a best friend during this convo.  He was man enough to say he may not have gas money. He’s showing you he trusts you. I.would caution you about going overboard with “please come, just come, no gift pressure” because at the end of the day he couldhave other reasons for not wanting or be able to come to your wedding.

Post # 4
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

“we want your presence not your presents”


Post # 5
2894 posts
Sugar bee

@EffieTrinket:  I think many people (including myself) have been into this situation where politeness and etiquette would require to offer a gift, but financial reality didn’t allow us to. If he’s classy and knows a bit about etiquette, he knows circumstances can get in the way and that he is not required to give anything beyond his means. I think most people consider it awkward to show ”empty-handed” to a wedding, but if he shows with a card or letter of sincere congratulations, I don’t consider he showed up ”empty-handed”, at all. Again, I’m assuming he will probably know this, and I hope he can make it to your wedding. 🙂

Post # 6
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@NauticalDisaster:  +1. OP, if your friend is a classy guy he knows that a heartfelt note can be just as thoughtful and meaningful as a gift.

I actually think it would be weird for you to bring up the gift thing, even in the context of “don’t feel like you need to bring one.” It just shows that you are preoccupied with it while the thought of spending money on a gift might not even have crossed his mind (given his financial circumstances).

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