Post # 1
ask someone if they gave you a gift?
I have two good friends that, after going through the gifts and cards from the wedding, I don’t see any type of gift or card from them. I’m 100% okay with someone not feeling obligated to bring a gift, though in my area I feel that would be highly unusual and knowing these two particular people like I do, for them to not give a gift would be VERY highly unusual. How do I know if they didn’t give a gift or if their gifts got lost in the shuffle? I just want to be sure I get the thank you’s right and to know if I need to start tracking down missing gifts.
Post # 3
Just ask them – say you’re missing a few cards and theirs were one of them and you wanted to make sure that if they brought a card and it went missing that they know about it if there’s a check or anything in there, etc. It’s actually really important – if they put a check in there, they can stop payment on it. So, I would just tell them you think their cards got lost and you want to confirm and if they didn’t bring a card, then awesome, nothing got lost!
Post # 4
@futuremrsk18: +1 great tactful way to bring it up.
Post # 5
The most I would do is casually say – while you’re hanging out at dinner- “I deserve this (drink, food, coffee, whatever). I am so glad I’m finished with thank you notes!” Then if they don’t get a note, they can figure it out. This is okay with good friends that you normally vent with- probably would be noticeable with not as good friends.
You can’t ask if they gave you a check. That’s really awkward if they didn’t give you anything. If you don’t deposit a check, they will assume you didn’t get it.
Post # 6
I’m not sure there’s a truly tactful way to bring it up. Despite your intentions, the basics of the question is “Did you, or did you not, get me anything?”. I agree with a pp, at some point mention how you’re done with the thank you notes and then wait to see if they say anything. OR, send a thank you note for them attending the wedding. Don’t mention the gift. That way, they can bring it up.