(Closed) Is there a polite way to….

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Just ask them – say you’re missing a few cards and theirs were one of them and you wanted to make sure that if they brought a card and it went missing that they know about it if there’s a check or anything in there, etc. It’s actually really important – if they put a check in there, they can stop payment on it. So, I would just tell them you think their cards got lost and you want to confirm and if they didn’t bring a card, then awesome, nothing got lost!

Post # 5
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

The most I would do is casually say – while you’re hanging out at dinner- “I deserve this (drink, food, coffee, whatever).  I am so glad I’m finished with thank you notes!”  Then if they don’t get a note, they can figure it out.  This is okay with good friends that you normally vent with- probably would be noticeable with not as good friends.

You can’t ask if they gave you a check.  That’s really awkward if they didn’t give you anything.  If you don’t deposit a check, they will assume you didn’t get it.  

Post # 6
391 posts
Helper bee

I’m not sure there’s a truly tactful way to bring it up. Despite your intentions, the basics of the question is “Did you, or did you not, get me anything?”. I agree with a pp, at some point mention how you’re done with the thank you notes and then wait to see if they say anything. OR, send a thank you note for them attending the wedding. Don’t mention the gift. That way, they can bring it up.

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