- 6 months ago
I’m in the middle of planning my wedding, and I’ve hit a snag. I’m trying to keep my guest list to around 50 people, and my mom is insisting that I am obigated to invite certain people.
1. Theres a family I have known for a long time, and I grew up with their kids. Later in life though, the mother was so rude to me about not being sure of what I wanted to do career-wise. She’s made really nasty comments to me about how I’ll “never finish school”, and its always bothered me that she could be so heartless to me, especially since she’d known me since I was 4. These comments have stuck with me and, even though I was invited to her son’s wedding, I really do not want to invite her to mine. My mother is INSISTING that I have to invite them because I went to their son’s wedding, and I’ve known them forever. But I really don’t want the negativity around me on that day. Plus, my SO wasn’t invited to their son’s wedding, and he feels that because of this I shouldn’t invite their son’s wife to ours.
2. I have a very large Italian and Irish family. There are so many cousins/aunts/uncles that I haven’t seen in YEARS and have no contact with. I am being told that I have to invite everyone who is related to us. EVERYONE. A lot of these people have gotten married and did not invite me, but invited my parents. Most of them have SO’s, who I am told I must invite as well.
3. My mom is also insisting that I invite everyone who has invited her and my dad to their weddings/their kid’s weddings. She’s also insisting that she invite ALL of her and my dad’s friends. They have a very large friend group, many of whom I have never met before. One of my mom’s friends who is getting invited went around telling everyone I had an eating disorder when I lost weight due to stress.
I don’t want to sound like a brat, but this is a day to celebrate my SO and I getting married, it’s not a party for all of my parent’s friends who have never met either of us. I would like to get to spend time with those who mean the most to me, and not spend the entire night talking with people i don’t know. Plus, I really don’t want to fake nice with people who I don’t particularly like.
My question: am I obligated to invite all of these people? Can I get away with not inviting family members if I haven’t seen/spoken to them in years? Do I have to invite my parents friends? And do I have to invite people just becuase I went to their wedding?
**With all the extra guests, the list has gone up to 120 people. The venues we loved have a max of 100 people, so we’re struggling to find a way to limit the guest list even though my parents have offered to pay.