(Closed) Is there a polite way to say no to 4 extra RSVP’s?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4485 posts
Honey bee

Call her up asap and tell her that due to space/budget limitations, you are unable to accommodate anyone who is not specifically invited. It’s not your fault or her friends’ faults that she is rude. If they are upset by her behavior, then that is for her to amend and it isn’t something for you to stress over. But this needs to be taken care of immediately.

Post # 4
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i would run it by your friend first to let her know what’s up.  then i would call her mil and explain to her how the 4 extras can’t come unfortunately since it’s at your house and you can only accommodate x number of people.  try to stay polite and calm even if she gets snippy.  i don’t think you’re wrong at all with calling her and telling her no.  the invitation was for her.  not her and 4 buds.  if she wants her friends to come then she can host a separate party.

let us know how it goes!

Post # 5
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am going to second the advice above, and really agree that you should talk to the bride first. It would help if she can back you up.

Post # 7
4485 posts
Honey bee

Wow… Some people really have nerve! At this point, you have to lay down the law instead of letting her walk over you as she has successfully done. Yes, turn people away at the door if you have to in order to get the point across that this is beyond rude. Sit down with her husband and explain the situation. Hopefully he will be able to get across to her if no one else can.

Post # 8
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t understand why she HAS to bring them?!  She needs to have and organize her own shower and invite as many people as she wants.  She sounds like a serious problem and I would talk to your friend right away.  Tell her the additional people CANNOT come.

What a jerk.

Post # 9
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow…. She sounds like she is going to be super fun at the party.  Talk with your friend and maybe she can back you up saying that there is not enough space for everyone and that this is an adult event so the children would be out of place.  Keep telling her every time you see her that there is not enough room for the extra people, maybe you can wear her down.  As a back up plan I would run by the dollar store and grab some coloring books and crayons for the kids and make a small portion of kid food if she really does bring them and see if you can borrow some estra chairs form friends for the extra people.  When she gets there make it known to her that she brought the kids so you assume she will be watching them as you have a party to host.  Good luck!!!

Post # 10
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

one, those people were not invited.  two, it is not her place to invite people.  you are not following her wishes, but the guest of honor.  it is up to this woman to make her regrets to those that were not included, making assumption on someone else’s behalf and indeed, making her look like an a$$.

Post # 11
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would turn her friends away at the door. And tell her beforehand that’s exactly what you’ll do, so she can’t be surprised when it happens. I think this is unbelievably rude (and it’s in YOUR home too!) Gaaah. I have no sympathy for this woman. If her friends turn up I would just say, “Mrs. X, you are welcome to come in if you like, but your friends are not invited and there is no room for them. Will you be attending the shower?”

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