(Closed) Is there a way to ask this? CAN I ask this?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m not sure, other than just trying to spread it by word of mouth, maybe through your Maid/Matron of Honor and/or your mom.  I know other bees are struggling with this, too.

Post # 4
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@sara_tiara:  Ugh, I get your frustration with this completely. Unfortunately, I’m not sure there is much you can do. People get excited at weddings and are probably hoping to catch what they think is a nice photo to tag you in.

If you seriously want to avoid it, why don’t you have a little sign placed somewhere…”the couple would be most grateful if you would refrain from taking photographs / posting any photographs online”.


Post # 5
11166 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I think word of mouth is probably the best plan of action. I am not sure how well having it in the program would go over with your guests. I am sure some might find it downright rude to see in print you telling them what to do.

Our photographer had an issue with one of his cards in his camera and lost some of the photos he had taken in the very beginning of his session. While they weren’t “crucial” moments they were none the less important to me. I am very grateful to my friends that did manage to capture those lost moments and details and posted them for me to see.


Post # 6
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

This is going to be a hard one to prevent because we are so mobile now. Do you have a wedding website? You could put it on there. If you have cameras on the table (or even if you don’t) you could put a little placecard that says that you’d appreciate these being in a photo album but not on fb? I don’t know I real polite way of saying it as I’m not feeling creative right now, but I would do something like that.

Otherwise word of mouth and damage control after the pics have been posted (asking them to take them down).

Post # 7
9887 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ticatica:  +1.

Post # 8
583 posts
Busy bee

I’ve seen some really nice signs/programs about that on Pinterest.  Just a little saying that says:

Out of respect for our photographers and to allow them to get the best shots, please refrain from taking photos.  We will make our photos available to everyone through an online gallery.  Thank you!


But that’s just my recollection of what it said.  I’d just do a search on Pinterest or google.

Post # 9
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

You can prevent them from tagging you in the pictures by changing your settings. That way you can vet pictures before everyone sees them through your Facebook; as for their Facebook you’re out of luck.

Post # 10
1736 posts
Bumble bee

@LaurenKK:  I like this – I might use it for myself! Great way to put it! I went to a Destination Wedding in Jamaica and the photographer was constantly yelling at guests to stop taking photos because the flashes were messing up her shots.

Post # 11
5073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Just the ceremony?  or the whole thing?

Seeing a sign like that would break my heart.  I love taking pics at weddings.

But of course it’s your call

Post # 12
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@beachbride1216:  That’s what I was going to suggest.  A couple days before your wedding, change your privacy settings so no one can tag you in pictures and/or no one can see your tagged pictures.  You could also get rid of your Wall for your wedding day so no one can write or post any pictures to it.  You can’t really control if anyone posts something on their own walls (unless you spread this request via word of mouth and guests respect it) – but at least this way, none of your friends can see anything on YOUR wall.

Post # 13
716 posts
Busy bee

i can understand where OP is coming from but it is a fun party to celebrate with your guests, not a private event (concert, broadway show, etc) that people are paying to see.  maybe word of mouth but some people will still probably think it’s a bit much.  

Post # 14
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

OP, I sympathize with you and am myself mulling through this issue.  There are a few components; do all of these resonate with you, or is it a specific one?

1. [Non-pro] photos being on FB at all.

2. People distractedly photographing the ceremony and key reception components rather than focusing on the events at hand.

3. Photos going up on FB as the events are occurring (I kid you not, these past two weekends I have seen photos go up in real-time by friends of a bride before the ceremony as well as walking down the aisle. Not cool.)

Limiting photo/post tagging privileges would likely mitigate #3 and the most offending aspect of #1.  Putting something in your program about #2 regarding especially the ceremony would be understandable, particularly if you’re marrying in a house of worship. Could be confusing and offensive for the reception (e.g., guests wondering if they can take/post photos of themselves, whether it’s OK to take pictures with you, etc.)

In your case, I would cautionarily disable tagging regardless of what you tell guests.  Depending on whether your reasoning falls into #1, 2, and/or 3, you may want to notify guests accordingly.  Would you be OK with hosting a Flickr or photo-sharing account so guests can upload their post-ceremony shots?

We’re not doing a wedding website for privacy reasons but plan to send a wedding info email once we receive “yes” RSVPs.  Among the game plan for the weekend, we will include a statement about ceremony photography (I can PM it to you).  We may also include a very short statement in our program or post a sign or ask our officiant to say something before the ceremony begins.  Good luck!

ETA: In the info email/website, absolutely say something about pro photos being available to guests after the fact.  It is probably wise to indicate that they will be free and printable like any other digital photo.

Post # 15
1030 posts
Bumble bee

we’ve discussed this, and we both want a photographer that will capture ‘fairytale’ picutres. we want to be able to look back at our wedding and for it to look like a day that was out of the ordinary – not to see it through the eyes of my friend’s who insist on using the hideous flash on everything.

so many of my friends have had pictures posted on facebook when they don’t look their best, and the wedding doesn’t look as good as it did on the day.

we’d be extremely upset to look back on our special day and it not be as beautiful as we remembered it.

so we’ll be asking guests not to take photos. they can take them of themselves and their group of friends if they wish – but i don’t want any being taken of me.

also – i don’t want to look at the video footage of me walking down the aisle and everyone have their camera phones sticking out to get a shot. no way.

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