(Closed) Is there a way to discourage gifts?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think people like to give gifts, but there are alternatives to traditional registries if you don’t want more stuff.  You could do a honeymoon registry, register at a specialty store (like a camping store or home improvement store), or set up a couple charities people can donate to in your name. 

ETA:  Even if you put something in you invitiations to discourage gift-giving, a lot of people don’t feel comfortable showing up to a wedding empty-handed.  In that case, I think it would be better to register for low-cost items because people will bring gifts, whether you want them or not.  by registering, though, you can mostly avoid the “We spent $50 on a gift for a $10 meal” talk.

Post # 4
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

FYI – I want to let you know that not everyone feels that way, I just know many that do.  I’m sorry if I made you feel bad!  Sometimes I feel the opposite; am I giving enough money to this person considering how much they spent for me to be here?  Is the bride/groom going to think I’m cheap giving them this gift?

Post # 5
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

People do like giving gifts.  Have you considered saying something like in lieu of gifts, please make a donation to xyz charity that is important to the bride and groom?  

Post # 6
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We had a potluck reception and I told everyone to bring food in lieu of gifts—and we still got gifts! If someone is set on giving you something, I don’t think there’s much you can do or say. The honeymoon registry is a good idea as well as the charity idea, that way you’re not getting things you don’t need.

Post # 7
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

“We feel like the greatest gift you could give us is your presence at your wedding. Daydream and J have lived together for several years now and already have all the various and oddball household items that any couple needs.

However if you do feel like giving a gift please consider giving to XYZ charity/we’d gratefully accept any donations for our honeymoon/to build a jacuzzi/buy a new home to start our married life”.

As the Bee’s said before me, people do love giving gifts. But if you give them the option of sending you to Aruba (let’s say) for 2 weeks they’ll be just as excited. Some honeymoon registries (I’m going with this route so I did a bunch of research) even let you divide up the honeymoon into a registry like format. Like;

$20 for J to go rockclimbing for an afternoon

$40 for Daydream to go to a spa treatment

$60 x2 for dinner at La Fabulous Restaurant 

Etc, etc etc.

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