(Closed) Is there any way of keeping control when you invite kids?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
46595 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ZebraPrintMe:  Can yoou ask someone you are close to, to run interference for you with the parents if the children are misbehaving?

” Johnny is having trouble sitting still and keeping quiet. Would you like to take him outside to run around for a bit and burn off some energy? Or, would you like me to take him?”

Post # 4
8816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

does your mother know for a fact that your entire family will boycott your wedding or is she saying that to blackmail you?

Post # 6
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m setting up an area with 2-3 babysitters and a bunch of activities (games, coloring books, dolls, etc) that is separate from where the reception will be. That way the parents can drop their kids off there and they’re out of the way, but their kids are still close by if anything happens.  For during the ceremony, maybe just do a word-of-mouth thing that you’re sort of worried about the kids going into the aisle so parents know to keep them in control.  I’ve never seen an issue with kids running around during a ceremony, but I guess  my family is a bit more strict when it comes to behaving in public.

Post # 8
7339 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@TGold:  +1

Pre-planning a kids’ activity area and hiring someone to be in charge of the kids will take care of most of the kids-acting-like-idiots situation.  Don’t rely on any guest to look after the kids because guests will get distracted. Pay a couple of babysitters, get some games and activities, and keep the kids entertained.  Accept the fact that kids love dancing and the dance floor *will* become kid-world; there’s no way around that. But you can ask the DJ to play some kid-friendly songs early on— Electric Slide and stuff like that— they will get tired of dancing soon enough and go back to their games and such. And have a good look at your surroundings. Put the cake and card box and other focal pieces on tall tables rather than at kid-eye-height, make sure there is some kind of distraction if you’re worried about them getting into the buffet, and maybe skip the table gems or flower petals on your centerpeices.

Post # 9
1608 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I dont relate well to blackmail.  If the parents decide to/have to stay home, that is their decision.  If the entire family makes this threat, I would say, fine, good to know how important (or not) my wedding is. 

Post # 10
4040 posts
Honey bee



I sooooo agree. Like one three year old is more important than the bride?


I don’t think I’d want those people there, if that was their way of thinking.


Post # 11
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ZebraPrintMe:  have you considered hiring a ‘baby wrangler’ aka a babysitter or child entertainment.  You could have someone to entertain them for the ceremony, provide them with colouring books as favours to keep them occupied.  

Ultimately, it comes down to the parents.  If the parents don’t care, there’s not much you can do!

Post # 12
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s all about your guests with kids and how they parent. I have been to plenty of weddings with children and none of them have behaved that way. I would never expect that given our friends and family.  This is probably one of those things you’re worrying too much about and the likelihood of them being crazy is slim unless you know they often misbehave as parents allow that.

Post # 13
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

 Some little activities (coloring book, puzzle, toy, etc) may help!

If it makes you feel any better, we had about 15 kids at our wedding and they were all quiet during the ceremony, behaved during dinner, quiet during speeches/first dance and had a ton of fun dancing with all the adults on the dancefloor. Seriously. Not a single issue. Kids doesn’t have to mean disaster. unfortunately, most of that control lies with the parents.

Post # 14
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had tons of kids at my wedding. They all sat quietly through the ceremony. My bridesmaid/sister-in-laws newborn made one small peep and her boyfriend hightailed it out if the church with baby.

at the reception I had coloring activity gifts wrapped and placed at each child’s seat (we had a specific seating chart) and kids meals. Then when the dancing started I didn’t care what anyone did. Half the kids were sent to bed in their hotel rooms and the others were just dancing with everyone else. 

I know some people have issues with children, however I had far more issues with my adult guests than with the children.

I know you’re worried and I was too, but you’d be amazed the day after by how little attention you paid to specific details you thought you’d focus on.

Post # 15
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

We almost bought a bunch of disposable cameras and made a list of things for the kids to take pictures of (to keep them busy and so we could have a laugh later of their interpretations of things) but I totally forgot.  Turns out it worked out fine.  My nieces/nephews and friends kids were really well behaved.  I wasn’t too suprised since they aren’t monsters normally.  They were so excited to dance and be dressed up.  


The only uncontrolled moment, and I’ve written about that here before, was when I walked up the asile with my Dad.  My youngest niece, at the time, was almost 3 said VERY LOUDLY during a quiet part in the music, oh Aunt____ you are a Princess!!! and she jumped up and down in her seat.  I would have been annoyed if I spent money on things the kids didn’t use, and our budget was super tight.  


Post # 16
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Double post. Good ol phone. 

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