Post # 1
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
So I have noticed a number of threads since I’ve been around involving parents inviting guests etc. and I was wondering if there was anyone like me who did not give them this option? Yes, my parents are paying for part of the wedding and I am inviting people who are more their friends than mine but I have known them for years, they’ve seen me grow up or they’ve known me and my fiancé together so I have formed my own bond with them and it was my choice to have them there.
So did anyone/will anyone have guests there that their parents want but maybe you’re not necessarily bothered about? Or did you choose your guest list yourself?
Post # 3
Hostess
7568 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I think a lot of people start off by not giving their parents invites but the parents get upset. Like DH and I made our guest list first. FMIL asked to see it and then tried to add 20 people. After that we told her she could have x number more invites.
Post # 4
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
My dad invited 50 friends+their spouses, my mom invited some and we’re still waiting on FI’s parents friends list. There will be about 80 people I’ve never met before there and I am totally fine with that. My parents are paying for it and I figured they should be able to invite whoever they wanted. My parents are very social and involved in the community so I figured they would invite a lot of friends.
Post # 5
Member
4017 posts
Honey bee
We didn’t. We’re paying for our wedding 100% and neither of our parents would ask to invite their friends to our wedding, especially if we don’t know them
Post # 6
Member
28 posts
Newbee
We invited our own guests. Not just because we paid for it all, but also our guest list was already at the room maximum.
Post # 7
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
I think if your parents are helping you pay its only right you let them invite a certain amount of people, its not really going to hurt you to have them there and it would make your parents happier.
My mum wasnt paying for anything and i let her invite a few, it was really nice to see how excited she got. Now shes jumping in and paying for all sorts of things, lol.
Post # 8
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
Parents inviting people they know but that you do not know is not really the done thing in my region of the UK. Generally you invite family and friends and your parents have the family to socialise with. It depends family to family I guess and what the parents expect.
Post # 9
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
My parents never asked to invite anyone and neither did his as far as Im aware. They did look at my list of friends from our old church (the ones who are more their friends than mine) and I asked if there was anyone else they thought I should invite but they said no. Same with my fiancé’s parents…there were a couple of “family” members who were added but then when his mum saw the list said they did not need to be on there.
Post # 10
Member
4664 posts
Honey bee
@FromA2B2013: Mine didn’t have invite or veto power. They didn’t pay.
Post # 11
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
We gave our parents the number they could invite. It was pretty much the people we expected.
Post # 12
Member
8000 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Our parents aren’t paying, we are. It never occurred to us to give them invites… not because we are paying, but because it is our wedding. However, once we had made the guest list then we did email it to our families and ask if anyone was missing, and we did add a few people at their request. I don’t think that’s the same thing as allowing them to have invites, though, so I voted “no”.
Post # 13
Member
8000 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@emmrr3: Yes, I’ve never heard of it being done in England, either!
Post # 14
Member
2872 posts
Sugar bee
My parents didn’t get specific invitations, but we did invite several couples who are family friends on each side, which are the people that they would have invited.
Post # 15
Member
1219 posts
Bumble bee
We are paying for the majority of the wedding and we’re on a tight budget, so my parents and FI’s mother didn’t get any invites. We already had to exclude some of our friends because we could only have 80 people. Fortunately all of the parents completely understood this.
Post # 16
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
It’s not that I didn’t give them the option, it’s that they didn’t express any desire to invite people. I even asked my mother if she and my dad wanted to invite anybody. She said no, it’s not her weddding, it’s ours. If there’s anybody that she knows that we want there, I should feel free to invite them, but I shouldn’t feel obligated to invite any of her friends.
We paid for most of the wedding ourselves, but my parents did make one payment on the venue AND they helped both of us through college AND they’re helping us pay for our impending move, so I felt like my parents would be justified making a request, but they simply didn’t want to. The only thing they really asked for was that my father not wear a full tux in the late-June Texas heat. Which I was already going to suggest anyway because I didn’t want my father to pass out.
DH’s family suggested someone we didn’t think of and that was it. She was the long-time girlfriend of his late uncle, so basically family anyway.
