(Closed) Is there anyone you are scared/not looking forward to telling you are engaged?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
176 posts
Blushing bee

@misshydra:  No way! I will be shouting it from the rooftops when my SO proposes.Tongue Out

In your situation I would recommend that you just not let the opinions of others get you down. I think most people come around and if they really care about you they will see how happy you are and support you. If they do not, I would have a serious conversation with them and let them know that their negative vibes are not appreciated and will not be tolerated. 

Best of luck to you!

Post # 4
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

we were scared to tell his parents – because they had no idea it was coming (because he was unemployed at the time and didnt want to tell them he bought a ring while unemployed).  They were definitely shocked – there was 10 seconds of silence on the other end which felt like an eternity, but they were super happy about it after the shock wore off!

The nice part was a few days later he got to tell them he had just gotten an amazing job offer! 😉

Post # 5
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I stopped talking to the main person I would not have been too excited to tell earlier this year.  Dumped her snarky a** on FB and haven’t looked back since!

I think overall there’s no one I would be holding back from telling, maybe family but I feel very guarded about my personal life from them (we’re not super close) anyway and I already feel like they might get weird and feel left out once it’s revealed we want a courthouse wedding with only witnesses and then a honeymood.  But it’s our day and they have plenty of other nieces/nephews willing to spend the $$$ to show off for them!

Post # 6
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Best advice i can give is to not give a shit. it’s an amazing moment. shout it from the rooftops. everyone else be damned.

Post # 7
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

My academic advisor – I don’t know that I’ve explicitly told her, actually, and she’s been on sabbatical so we’ve been emailing only for months. A lot of people in our department don’t look very fondly on young women getting married; I suspect like they feel like they might have wasted their time and effort if the student leaves the program after marrying.

Post # 8
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@misshydra:  You sound just like me. I’m not even close to being engaged (it’ll happen – just not for a few months) and I am already gauging ppl’s reactions! I guess it’s good to be prepared.

Try telling yourself that some will react badly, and then have a few rebuttals in mind.. or just smile and take the high road.

In the end, it’ll soon be old news. For me that’s a big relief… I am so not extroverted and being the centre of attention is awkward (especially when it’s not just immediate family).

Congrats, by the way! This is an exciting time for you 🙂

Post # 9
154 posts
Blushing bee

I am sooo excited to tell my mum n dad and my grandma n grandpa, and my great gran:) but i am going to be so scared about telling bf’s parents :/

Post # 10
3 posts

I am going to be beyond excited to tell my family, our friends and my BF’s mom’s family.  I will be very nervous/unexcited to tell my BF’s dad, stepmom and stepsister. 

Post # 11
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think after 3 years they should see it coming. I’ve been with my SO 5 years. I don’t think anyone would get negative about us being together. Your family/friends you’re talking about should be happy for you. If your bestfriend gets jealous, she shouldn’t show it. God knows I get jealous of others, but I only show the excited part. It’s not fair to show any other side.

Post # 12
140 posts
Blushing bee

I feel weird about telling my grandparents, specifically one set that bought me barbies up until just a few years ago and still gives me beanie babies. How do you tell someone that you are getting married when they think your age is still in the single-digits?

Post # 13
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I remember being a little apprehensive, I guess, when calling one friend in particular. About a month prior to getting engaged we went out with our SO’s and her and I went to the bathroom and she was complaining to me about waiting- which alone irked me because they had been together less than a year-and-a-half and at that point we’d been together over 6 years (a piece of advice- don’t complain about waiting for an engagement to someone who’s been waiting for about 5 years longer than you, they’ll look at you like you have three heads), I mentioned to her that I was expecting a proposal by the end of the year, which was about 3 weeks away and she looked at me and laughed and said, “good luck with that!” in a bitchy tone. So part of me wanted to brag about it on the phone, but another part just didn’t want to deal with the situation. She congratulated me but then turned it around to complain about waiting for her ring (she’s still waiting- mind you). Some people!

Post # 14
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

X.X my DS’s father. Everyone else I’m excited about, but I know that telling my ex will not go well. Or it will be very matter-of-fact, which is better tHan the explosion of anger he had when he found out SO and I were dating. He specifically said he didn’t want him to be DS’s stepfather. I had told him tough shit though. I think after 4 years and a longterm Girlfriend of his own, he will have mellowed out though.

ETA: my SO is wonderful with DS, my ex just didn’t want me with anyone period.

Post # 15
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I dreaded telling my parents and Mom’s side of family because they’re very judgmental peope. They did judge, but I just dealt with it. Rolled my eyes and said I was happy, and eventually they found something new to talk about.

Post # 16
27 posts

Sadly enough, I’m more excited about telling my stepdad than my mother… She told me today, that the only way she would be able to come to my wedding is if she “had the money honey.” I did talk to my stepdad after that, and he blatently said they would be there. And I talk to my mom quite often and it’s hard to gauge her reaction to things over the phone… But I don’t know…… She is very religious, and I’m not….. So, things might not go so well… 

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