(Closed) Is there anyone you secretly hope will not attend?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 62
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Some of FI’s relatives… We initially weren’t going to invite them (it’s an intimate ceremony), but some relatives we do like are going to be in town and have already expressed interest in coming. Sooo, since it would be rude to invite one and not the other, we’re inviting the other.

They snubbed us for the first two years I was here (and apparently have been doing it to him for longer). I’m talking, said hello to everyone while completely ignoring our existence in the same room. They’ve since become friendlier, but it still left a bad taste in my mouth.

Post # 63
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
@Coral99:  lol sounds like my step Mother-In-Law too. 

Post # 64
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

um yes!!! my crazy (literally!) SIL who I’ve never spoken a word to in person because the only time I’ve ever met her was at her shotgun wedding to my Fiance brother, when she threatened to punch me out if I talked to her!!! 


Post # 65
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I am not actually invting my step brother and step sister – they are outrageous people who look down their noses at everyone. My step sister is getting married in october, promptly after we announced we might get married. She has also said I don’t deserve a wedding or financial support with it because I have been married before (so has her future husband, which is why he has two children who she has destroyed emotionally beyond belief). My oldest step sister has told me that the (wicked) step sister’s FH’s family hate her and to be honest I can see why. She is really just one of the meanest people I know.

Post # 66
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

My fiance has an Aunt who I haven’t decided if I want to invite.  She’s always talking bad about me behind my back.  I like her husband and half of her kids (the ones I don’t like were trying to hit on me in hopes I’d leave my fiance so that I wont be part of the family).  Part of me knows I should especially since I love his mom and grandma and they would both take offence to me not inviting her but the other part sees no reason why I should invite someone who is so two faced to me.  I never really see her (not even on Christmas) so it’s never been a problem till now.

Post # 67
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@CookieCreamCakes:  I’m hoping my mom’s entire family side is not going. Kinda makes me want to elope for that reason but we still want a wedding. So we’re not going to let them stop us from having what we really want. It would be so awesome if they don’t go. They are all drama, shit talking, negative people. My aunt and her family are already excluded, which is why I know there’s going to be drama with my grandma and other relatives Because I not inviting them and certain other people. I don’t talk to my mom’s side and stay away from them for the most part. So I don’t care if they show up or not. Hoping they don’t. 

Post # 68
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I secretly hope my step-brother and his trashy baby momma drama don’t come. My step-bro is certifiably crazy, and the both of them used to party A LOT. …and no longer have teeth as a result (think of the Breaking Bad show and you catch my drift).

Anyway, FI’s dad is retired FBI, and their whole family is just AMAZING. Really lovely people. I’m so worried about the crazy things my step-brother will say to FI’s dad, and since it’s an intimate wedding there will be minimal people as buffers.

On the bright side, by doing the intimate wedding I’ve managed to avoid inviting the rest of my crazy family. I’m not inviting anyone from my father’s side (we’re estranged), and somehow managed to keep it to immediate family on my mom’s side.

If anyone asks, it’s due to our “very intimate venue” 🙂

Post # 69
1334 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Kempinski San Lawrenz, Gozo

I have a crazy co-worker who I invited because I’m literally afraid of what she might do to get back at me if I invite everyone at work except her. And when I say she’s crazy I’m not joking. We work in a mental health clinic and she’s worse than most of our patients.

example: Last week she wanted a day off but it wasn’t okayed by the boss due to shortage of staff. so what does she do? she tells us she has CANCER and spend a whole week on sick leave. She was back to work yesterday; her cancer has apparently been cured. On other occasions, she’d lied about needing heart surgery, her dad being in instensive care, and her brother having a heart attack…just to get a couple of days off. 


I had given her an invitation a couple of weeks ago, it was addressed to HER ONLY, and it was quite clear that she was the only one invited. I’m sorry but I don’t like her, she switches boyfriends more frequently than underwear and with our limited number of guests I’m not about to invite her latest catch instead of someone we’d really like to see at our wedding.
Yesterday, she started telling us that she and her current boyfriend are going to be renting a holiday apartment so they’d be close to our wedding venue. She was gushing about coming to the wedding and then making a weekend of it. The rest of the team looked at me with wide eyes while i just stared at her. So after a minute of prepping myself for an awkward conversation I had to pull her aside and gently remind her that her boyfriend is not invited and explain why. She lookd furious, but just said “ok, I’ll see what I can do then”.

i am SO hoping she won’t come to the wedding. I’m an extremely tolerant person, but this one is a piece of work. She really freaks me out.  

Post # 70
13906 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wanted everyone who RSVP’ed yes to come; but there were certainly some people who declined that I didn’t lose sleep over…

Post # 71
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

My FI’s brothers. They’re 11, and they’re monsters. They’ll be 14 and probably just as bad, if not worse.

Though I know they’re coming. If they don’t behave themselves I’ll be livid.

Post # 72
16 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

one of my aunts but unfortunatly she is married to my uncle so she is coming. I can’t stand her nor can most people in my family while the rest tolerate her. I’m hoping she will just get in a mood and sit in the corner. Her and my uncle have been together about 17 years so had to invite her. Part of me is hoping that they have to cancel their flight (they live in europe) I would rather not have my uncle there than have her there as well.

Post # 73
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

I secretly hope about 20% of my guests (parents’ friends) won’t come. I do like them but space is SUPER tight and most my acquaintences aren’t invited. But “They (my parents) pay, they say!”

View original reply
@MrsBudz2Bee:  I TOTALLY get that!

Just realized I’m being a brat. I sincerely like every guest on my list. I just feel so crunched for space!!

Post # 74
3462 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

yes!! My adorable little niece (11) and nephew (4).

I love these kids, but I really want a child-free wedding. It’s a long weekend Destination Wedding in the caribbean and the reception is aboard an open catamaran. I don’t feel comfortable being responsible for their safety. Why did I invite them? Well…my mom didn’t speak to me for a month after I told her I was engaged (long story) and when she did start back speaking to me, one of the first things she said was a manipulative and passive agressive:

“it would be nice if you invite your niece and nephew…I mean if you don’t want kids there, I’m sure they’ll understand…but it would be a nice gesture…and I was going to throw them birthday parties this year, but I can’t afford to now that I have to come to your wedding and…they were really looking forward to those birthday parties….and well, like I said, if you truly don’t want kids…”


After all that, I was kinda just like “dang! Ma! they can come. shoot!”

I didn’t even invite their father (my brother) because we’re not close, he doesn’t have a passport and I know he can’t afford the trip. My mom says she’ll watch the kids all weekend and I won’t even know they’re there. Doubt it. I can see it now, babysitting on my own wedding night. smh.

Post # 75
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

yes about 7 family members,uggg im trying to think of somthing to say to keep them from wanting to come,2 of them are 17 and 20,so letting them know they cant drink do to it being at a hotel might make them think it will be boring,the others are their siblings 21 and up and im think on telling them im gonna have a bigger party after the wedding in a couple of weeks and hoping they choose to go to it instead.

its terrible of me probly,but they are ignorant people,they have said they would show up at the last couple of partys i had,the last being my daughters graduation party(they grew up together)sat in my house a week or so before her partyid they would be there,and not one of them came,not one of them,im afraid to spend $80 for each and them and them not show,plus i rather have other family and friends i really love and want there,i can only have 60 people.its all my budget can afford.

the thing is,their mom is suppose to be my bridesmaid,but she has ignored me for 2 months and still did not order her dress,it takes 2 months for the dress to come in,look at my wedding date.anyway since she was asked to be my bridesmaid her kids have got their save the dates,so i guess i have to still invite them,but i dont want to.i dont want any of them,including my cuz who suppose to be a bridesmaid,im done with that part of my family,they really been awful to my daughter and i over the past couple of years(nothing to do with the wedding or her graduation)but i kept trying to keep our relationship going because at one time we were all so close,our moms are sisters(both passed away)but it seems they dont care,so now i dont.im thinking of not sending none of them invites,idk what to do????

Post # 76
2997 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m only inviting the people I really want to be there.  Because of this, my wedding will have about 30 guests…if that.

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