Post # 1
I’ll admit I’m a bee, but I feel very embarrassed about this problem so I created a new account. I’ve only been with one man… my fiance. We don’t live together so we don’t get intimate more then once a week on most occassions. We’ve been together sexually for several years. For about 2yrs I haven’t been able to perform but once every few days. Used to we could have sex many times a day every day, if we wanted to. It’s soooo frustrating. Fiance understands, but I’m so tired of the pain and I’m completely embarassed to talk to a doctor about this. I know what my problem is, i’m too tight. We could have all the lube in the world and have tried many hoping it would solve the problem, but this just isn’t the case. I definately don’t have a problem in producing our own lubrication either.
Is there anyway to loosen up down there?
Post # 3
Do you usually loosen up after a while? Usuually if we aren’t having sex very often, I feel tighter but loosen up after a bit. If you never loosen up, you really might have a medical condition that needs to be taken care of. I know how embarrassing it is, I have been having ‘female’ issues for years now and it’s so hard to talk about with a doctor but they just want to help you.
Post # 4
Usually if we switch up positions often or start out with me on top things will feel fine after a few minutes. But I will stay sore for DAYS after. Having to go potty or clean down there is so painful it makes me cringe at the thought.
Post # 5
Yeah, that just doesn’t seem right. Sometimes I get sore for a few hours but not days. I wonder if it is something else and not tightness.
Post # 6
I would speak to your doctor about this. I wish I could help more but I do not have any answers. Do not be embarrassed about talking to your doctor… that is their job is to make sure that they can give you the most accurate answers that they can. Being too “tight” may be a sign of something else, or nothing at all but it is better to know.
Post # 7
I would talk to your OB/GYN about it, then also maybe a therapist? A friend of mine had a very similar problem in that she tightened up during intimacy with her partner. She didn’t know why, but it was a natural reaction for her to reject intimacy.
She had some unresolved issues with men that she needed to deal with and a therapist helped her get through it. She’s great now that she’s worked through the issues.
I haven’t a clue if your condition is physically or mentally, but I thought I’d put it out there. I hope you aren’t offended.
Post # 8
Google “vaginismus.” See if this sounds like you, and if not, I would definitely see a doctor. It could be an underlying medical condition if it’s not purely psychological. If it is vaginismus, a therapist can work wonders!
Post # 9
Talk to your doctor. Pain during sex isn’t necessarily normal. And it’s not normal if it hasn’t gone away after a few years. You could have scar tissue in your vaginal canal, which causes pain. And if it’s irritated, the pain could linger for a few days. I’ve had that problem before–but then i had a scraping by my OBGYN to remove excess tissue in there and it helped a lot. There could be a lot of things going on. Once i had a REALLY bad yeast infection (i had NO idea though!) and it caused the pain for a few days–stinging, hurt when I peed. I couldn’t figure it out. I thought it was the lube, then I thought it was something else, then finally my dr was like, “oh yeast infection!” then it magically went away. I had it for 5 freakin’ months. Gross. But yeah, i had that pain you were talking about.
Anyways, i understand not wanting to talk to a dr about it. But it’s pretty normal. Lots of women experience painful sex and your doctor won’t think twice about you bringing it up. Something else is definitely going on.
Post # 10
I agree you should really go see a doctor since this has been going on for so long and has you in pain for several days. Just remember the doctors want to help you not make fun of you! lol thats what I tell my self. That and they’ve seen A LOT worse than what you think is bad!
I hope things get better!
Post # 11
Thank you everyone so much, I’ve found some very useful information from what you ladies have said. And being able to admit to someone other then my fiance is a relief to me and it feels like the first step of actually being able to talk about it with a doctor.