(Closed) Is there ever a good reason to cheat?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is there ever a good reason?
    Yes : (16 votes)
    8 %
    No : (179 votes)
    92 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    426 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Um. No.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4511 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    No. Anything that’d be considered a “good reason to cheat” is actually a good reason to end the relationship or get counseling.

    Post # 5
    Member
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I don’t believe there is.  To me, if you have emotional or physical needs that your SO, Fiance, or hubby can’t meet, you either need to talk to that person about it or get out of the relationship.  Cheating causes pain and you risk losing the trust in your relationship forever.

    Post # 6
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    HELL NO! You break up before you cheat. Seriously, how could there be a GOOD reason for it??

    Post # 7
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    No, never.  IMO, even if you know the relationship is done for, have the decency to end it before starting something else.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5784 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    mmmm I don’t think there are good reasons to cheat but there are definitely circumstances under which I’d be more willing to forgive the person for cheating.

    Post # 9
    Member
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @LGenz:  Something like that, yeah.  Not a GOOD reason, no.  But there are situations where people get caught up and do it and then regret it and seriously will never do it again.  So while they didn’t have a good reason, that “once a cheater, always a cheater” thing is unfair too.

    Post # 10
    Member
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    A couple of years ago I was in a somewhat serious relationship. I thought we were an amazing couple who knew each other inside and out. We were used to doing the same things week after week (in and outside the bedroom) , and while I was ok with this routine…turns out he was not. His break up with me came as a shock at the time, and of course I was devastated. Turns out, he had cheated the last few months of our relationship and his partner was 5 months pregnant when we broke up.

    Years later I realize why he had cheated, he was bored! Our relationship had become dull and like most people, he needed excitement. I am no longer bitter about our breakup because it has led me to a wonderful relationship.

    So…Is there ever a good reason to cheat? NO! But depending on the relationship there might just be reason.

    Post # 11
    Member
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @HelloRaeven:I don’t necessarily agree with this.  Now, first of all, I’m sorry this happened to you.  No one should have to go through it.  And I am in no way placing judgement on you.  However, if he was bored, his first obligation was to talk to you about it or get out of the relationship.  Then he can start the new one.  Maybe he had a reason to leave the relationship but he did not have a reason to cheat.

    Post # 12
    Member
    714 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I didn’t participate in the poll but as much as I believe in marriage and fidelity (and I do!), I do think sometimes people are driven to cheat and while its still not okay to cheat – its more understandable. 

    My reasoning for this is because I happen to know a guy who is a good guy.  Certainly not perfect but very loyal, trustworthy and decent.  He married a woman and gave her and her children a very good life – one they couldn’t have hoped to have ever had without him.  Then they had a child together and suddenly, all she cared about was the child.  She sort of seemed to think that because they had a kid together he was stuck with her. 

    She stopped sleeping with him and by that I mean she both slept in bed with their kid as opposed to him and also refused intimacy.  This went on for many, many years during which they fought about it and he told her many times he wasn’t going to live like a monk. 

    He loves his wife – I know he does and he also loves their family and didn’t want to lose it so eventually he had an affiar and I can’t say I really blame him.  Would you?

    Post # 13
    Member
    4480 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    A good reason to cheat? I don’t think so. An explanation for cheating? Sure, but that doesn’t make it a good reason.

    I think it’s a personal integrity thing. If you are a solid person, you break up with your partner before you sleep with someone else. And if you’re not, you don’t. Your reason might be that you weren’t being honest with yourself or your partner about your unhappiness in your relationship. The unhappiness is valid, and a good reason to break up. Not to cheat.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I don’t think so. But now I can’t stop thinking about the latest Ashley Madison commercial they play on Howard Stern all the time. It says something about how affairs can actually save a marriage.

    Like, you adore your spouse, your family, your life together, but things may be lacking in the bedroom. So having an affair can help you stay satisfied in your marriage.

    LOLz.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @lisa105: I’ve heard of several situations like this. It’s such a horrific position to put anybody in..totally agree with you and it’s way easier said than done to say “well? he should have talked to her about it!” – like he hadn’t thought of that already. Pretty sad 🙁

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