lovelydd2016 : GIRL, you gotta chill out and give yourself a damn break!!! I’m not saying you shouldn’t go on a fitness plan, you totally should if you want to, but this is NOT the end of the world! Stop torturing yourself with images of yourself, and stop looking in the mirror for a bit for goodness sake!
To give you some perspective, I grew up naturally skinny, I was a ballet dancer and never had to diet, I could eat anything. When I hit my late 20s my metabolism just slammed to a stop and I gained a lot of weight in a short period of time (less than a year, like 25 pounds, and I’m only 5’2″ so that’s a lot for my height). I didn’t like what I saw or how I felt. I tried the body positivity scene, but honestly, there’s enough I’ve had to accept about my body that I can’t change (I have a serious degenerative disability that I can’t do anything about as well as over 2 feet of scar tissue from multiple surgeries) and I decided that controlling my size and strength was fully within my power. I did the whole counting calories thing, and that sucked and wasn’t super effective, and then I tried the whole 30 thing…and it worked beautifully!
I now eat about 80/20 primal and I’ve lost close to 15% of my body weight. Now I’m just 5 pounds heavier than I was in high school, at age 16, when I was a competitive dancer with a professional contract. By The Way, I’m currently 29. Yeah, it took over a year to find the right thing that would work for me, and no, my full flexiibility isn’t back yet, but I’m working on it.
I’m all for body acceptance and positivity, I think it’s a wonderful movement that helps a lot of women, please understand that! I’m also all for people taking control when they feel like they can. The way I look at it, which I know is not PC, is that I can’t help my disability. I can’t diet or exercise my way to a “normal” skeleton. I can’t put myself at a lower risk for becoming paralyzed, or having a shortened lifespan, or getting any number of other disorders that I will probably eventually get. If I had to run 10 marathons to avoid the next surgery, I’d do it, heck, I’d do anything!!! That aspect of my body is fully outside of my control. I was diagnosed at 11, and there’s not a thing I can do about it. BUT, my weight? That’s something I can aboslutely affect with my choices and behaviors!
If you want to change your body in a healthy way, if you want to develop more muscle and lose fat in a gradual way that’s not self-hating, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! Don’t beat yourself up about what you have done. That’s done! It’s cool! It happens! You can also change that!