(Closed) Is there hope. Pics included

posted 3 years ago in Fitness
Post # 2
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

lovelydd2016 :  Whoa, you’re being way too hard on yourself, bee!

I understand not being at your ideal weight and not feeling your best, so I sympathise and think that it’s great you want to make a change. Just be sure that it’s a lifestyle change, rather than a fad diet though, as a true lifestyle change (good meal planning and regular exercise) will give you the long term results that you want. 

That said, I can’t believe you said you are ‘disgusted’ by your body, and feel like a ‘football player’. What photos are you looking at, because I see a beautiful woman with a classic hourglass figure?

Honestly, the first step to a successful lifestyle change is going to be remembering how to love yourself, because that’s the only way you’ll treat your body with the respect and kindness it deserves. We often think we’re doing ourselves a favour by being critical and ‘motivating’ ourselves, but I don’t think I’d personally find it helpful to have someone stand in the corner of my room yelling insults at me all day, right?. Let’s be honest, that would just make me want to eat pizza while watching youtube cat videos. Try to encourage yourself the way you would a dear friend, instead of being judgemental towards yourself. 

Lastly, yes, with the right focus, it is absolutely possible to slim down your upper body rather than just tone up, if that is what you want to do.

Wishing you the very best of luck!

Post # 3
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

once you lose weight, your back and shoulders will get smaller. You may still have wide shoulders but honestly I think that they look wider because of the fat on the upper back and not because they are wide.

I’m sorry you are having such a rough time. I have gained 50lbs and feel disgusting. I am 220lbs, 5’6, and a size 16-18 currently and it is ruining my sex life, my social life, my self esteem. I am also in my mid-late 30’s and finding it very, very hard to lose weight. 2 months of <30 net grams of carbs a day and 1200 calories only=7lbs weight loss in 2 months, which I gained back in about 3 weeks ๐Ÿ™ You’re not grossly overweight but if it bothers you, so I am glad that you are working on it now because it really does get harder as you get older. 

Post # 4
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

You are being way too hard on yourself! I think a 10-15 pound weight loss (depending on your height, bmi, etc) is all you need. Everything in moderation and add some toning /weights for the arms and back. I got the popsugar fitness app and its super convenient and you can filter the videos by what you want to target.

Good luck

Post # 6
Member
379 posts
Helper bee

1) Of course there is hope! 2) Stop looking at pictures. 3) I’ve been struggling too and it is devastatingly disheartening. I don’t recognize myself sometimes. But I have faith. And you should too. We should try harder to be kinder and more understanding of ourselves. There are more important things. 

Post # 7
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

lovelydd2016 :  There is always hope! Weightlifting made all the difference for me ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
3403 posts
Sugar bee

You are being way too hard on yourself! I did the 21 day fix once – not going to lie, I did not do it by the book. I thought I leaned out and toned up, though. I liked the workout DVDs because they are only 30 minutes long. Also, force yourself to do them even though you won’t be able to walk the first few days:)

Post # 9
Member
238 posts
Helper bee

lovelydd2016 :  You said you’ve gained lots of weight. So did you mind how your back looked before this? I’m assuming so. Which means of course there’s hope! Eat better/less, exercise more. It really is that simple. And that’s coming from someone who understands that some health issues and medication can cause weight gain. 

Post # 10
Member
379 posts
Helper bee

I am vegetarian and have had success with low carb. Lots of low carb protien meal replacements. The trick is actually not eating bread and pasta, which is difficult for me and why I’ve not seen results lately.  

Post # 11
Member
9972 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

MrsSMFC :  Woah girl! Is that you in the before and after pics? If so, you’re my hero!

OP, you do not look horrible but I understand how it feels to be unhappy with your body. I recently had a scare that I had slacked off of diet and exercise so much the past few months that my dress wouldn’t fit anymore. It ended up fitting but it really kicked my butt into gear to get back in the gym and eating healthier. I cut out all soda/juice/tea and carbs and starches. I’ve been doing really good but I backslid yesterday and today so I need to try harder tomorrow to make good decisions.

You can do it! It’s a process. Not every day is a victory but if you acknowledge when you are slacking and correct it then that’s half the battle.

Post # 13
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee

MrsSMFC :ย ย OMG! you are my new hero!! I would love to know what you actually eat on a typical day ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
Member
5365 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

Sent you a dm! 

Post # 15
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

lovelydd2016 :  GIRL, you gotta chill out and give yourself a damn break!!! I’m not saying you shouldn’t go on a fitness plan, you totally should if you want to, but this is NOT the end of the world! Stop torturing yourself with images of yourself, and stop looking in the mirror for a bit for goodness sake! 

To give you some perspective, I grew up naturally skinny, I was a ballet dancer and never had to diet, I could eat anything. When I hit my late 20s my metabolism just slammed to a stop and I gained a lot of weight in a short period of time (less than a year, like 25 pounds, and I’m only 5’2″ so that’s a lot for my height). I didn’t like what I saw or how I felt. I tried the body positivity scene, but honestly, there’s enough I’ve had to accept about my body that I can’t change (I have a serious degenerative disability that I can’t do anything about as well as over 2 feet of scar tissue from multiple surgeries) and I decided that controlling my size and strength was fully within my power. I did the whole counting calories thing, and that sucked and wasn’t super effective, and then I tried the whole 30 thing…and it worked beautifully! 

I now eat about 80/20 primal and I’ve lost close to 15% of my body weight. Now I’m just 5 pounds heavier than I was in high school, at age 16, when I was a competitive dancer with a professional contract. By The Way, I’m currently 29. Yeah, it took over a year to find the right thing that would work for me, and no, my full flexiibility isn’t back yet, but I’m working on it.

I’m all for body acceptance and positivity, I think it’s a wonderful movement that helps a lot of women, please understand that! I’m also all for people taking control when they feel like they can. The way I look at it, which I know is not PC, is that I can’t help my disability. I can’t diet or exercise my way to a “normal” skeleton. I can’t put myself at a lower risk for becoming paralyzed, or having a shortened lifespan, or getting any number of other disorders that I will probably eventually get. If I had to run 10 marathons to avoid the next surgery, I’d do it, heck, I’d do anything!!! That aspect of my body is fully outside of my control. I was diagnosed at 11, and there’s not a thing I can do about it. BUT, my weight? That’s something I can aboslutely affect with my choices and behaviors! 

If you want to change your body in a healthy way, if you want to develop more muscle and lose fat in a gradual way that’s not self-hating, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! Don’t beat yourself up about what you have done. That’s done! It’s cool! It happens! You can also change that!

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