Is there really no such thing as the perfect relationship?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee

No relationship is perfect 100% of the time. My fiance and I are generally happy and functional. And he is generally kind and considerate and thoughtful and generous. 

But first, neither of us are always on best behavior. Sometimes he gets hangry. And I’m generally a cranky bitch for the first 15 minutes of being awake. 

Additionally, while we align in some hobbies and in our values, it’s not 100% alignment. We can watch a few tv shows together, but we generally prefer different shows.

And there are ways in which I clicked with other people better than I do with him. But on the whole I still love him the most. But it’s not 100% perfect. 

Post # 3
Member
4415 posts
Honey bee

paigelove :  I think a “perfect relationship” is a very subjective term. People have different tolerance level of their partners. For example, I know someone who just got engaged which took me quite by surprise. Because although this girl has been with this guy for 3 years, she talks positive about him to me 40% of the time and complains about him 60% of the time.

However, he is the first financially independent guy she’s been with, likes to travel as she does and they get along not always but for the most part. Despite the multiple complaints, to her, it’s already “perfect” although I have seen her happier with her previous Boyfriend or Best Friend but he is not doing well financially. Her current SO is as good as it gets  (she thinks) and is therefore  in a “perfect relationship”.

Post # 4
Member
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think people aren’t perfect,  so I can’t imagine any relationship being completely perfect.

Post # 5
Member
1321 posts
Bumble bee

I guess it comes down to what is perfection? a relationship might be perfect to me, but it would be complete hell for someone else. We all think perfect means something different. Someone thinks that perfection is always agreeing and the next person things heated debates are included in perfection. 

I personally think that perfect relationship doesn’t excist. I’m not perfect and neither is anyone I’ve ever met. I also don’t think we should aim for perfection.

Post # 6
Member
2569 posts
Sugar bee

As I see it, no individual is perfect so of course no relationship can ever be perfect. I love my fiance and think we’re extremely well matched. Do I think we have the “perfect relationship”? No, because I don’t really believe in that concept. But I do think we have a very healthy, strong relationship, with compatible goals, values, and lifestyles, and we make each other happy. In my truly “perfect” scenario he’d be better at cleaning and cooking and he’d surprise me with little gifts and romantic gestures more often… but those things are SO minor compared to all the other ways he’s a wonderful partner. 

Post # 7
Member
5870 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I don’t think every relationship necessarily has “issues” but nothing and no one is perfect, therefore it is impossible for a relationship to be. 

Post # 8
Member
4246 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

No relationship will be smooth sailing at all times, even the “perfect” ones. Every relationship will have its ups and downs.

Post # 9
Member
1972 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

My parents are still together but they have never seemed well matched. Mum is a recovering alcoholic and dad pretends everything is ok. I never knew I could have a relationship where there is no gaslighting, shouting, silent treatment and all that crap. My only other long term relationship was pretty dysfunctional and I thought I was headed down the same path so to meet my now Darling Husband whom I’m so at ease with, we don’t argue, we are silly together, share the same goals and values is pretty perfect to me. My sister and her Darling Husband and my brother and his boyfriend have similar relationships to ours so I guess we really fought not to end up like our parents. But no, it can’t be perfect. As long as you both feel happy in the relationship most of the time then that’s the most important thing. 

Post # 10
Hostess
4068 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I am with the person I consider to be MY person. I can’t imagine someone more compatible with me. We have the same goals, same values, we want the same things for the future. He is so good for me. We have never fought in the four years we’ve been together. 

He is also horrible to wake up in the morning (at least twice a month he texts me later in the day to apologize for being rude first thing in the morning) His taste in music is kinda… angry. And he loses his attention span for doing the dishes like 3 dishes in, it’s pitiful. 

So… nobody is perfect. Why would you even strive to be? Why not strive to be kind? Or loving? Or compassionate. I think perfection is truly unattainable, or if it were attainable it would only last for a few seconds until you did something fallible again… 

Post # 11
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Perfection is an illusion.  It does not exist and even if it did it doesn’t last. 

Post # 12
Member
3103 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think it’s about being perfect as much as it’s about being compatible.

Post # 13
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I don’t think that any relationship is perfect 100% of the time for instance we can go long periods where everything falls into place and it’s perfect but then something happens or comes up. For us our biggest issue is that my husband is very jealous. He also feels very insecure when he gets home from work before me that seldom happens but when it does he has an issue

Post # 14
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

My husband to be is perfect. If I was to write a list ten years ago with what I wanted. He would’ve ticked pretty much all the boxes.

Does he annoy me sometimes? Course. That’s normal.

Every relationship needs work.

Post # 15
Member
3865 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

There is no relationship where you will be totally happy 100% of the time and never ever argue. Not sure what you mean by ‘issues’ though. My husband and I sometimes argue or get irritated with each other, but there’s no deep longstanding problems or anything. I wouldn’t consider us to have ‘issues’. 

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