(Closed) Is there something wrong with us?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 18
1517 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

No not at all. I have like 9 friends, so I can’t fathom how people have 500 person weddings either.

I could stretch it out and invite old friends, friends of friends, my whole extended family… but I really only want people that I like and hang out with to be there, I think it’s better that way

Post # 19
7573 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Pokemon:  Also maybe talk to the venue and say you will pay the minimum but since x amount of meals wont be served can we have x,y and z as well. Think after dinner cheese platters or something like that?

Post # 20
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Same boat. We were hoping for 75 but it’s looking like only 65 can make it. It’s mainly my family and a small group of friends. I was upset at first that it was going to be so small and would make us look friendless but now I’m actually happy it’s just going to be a small group of people we actually like and care about. 

we’ll actually get to hang out with everyone! 

Post # 22
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Pokemon:  Ahaha! I hope not because I’m struggling to think of 50 people too. 

Post # 23
7941 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Nothing wrong with having a small wedding, nothing at all. We invited about 165 and 130 showed. I would have invited less but we had certain people that HAD to be included (according to my MIL).

I have been to a few small weddings of 50 or so people and they were just as great.


Post # 24
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Pokemon:  We only invited 74 people, about 20 declined… and there are a few we haven’t heard from yet (although the RSVP deadline was 5 days ago…  Time to hunt down the last of the stragglers!)

My venue has a 50 person minumum as well, but that count includes me & Fiance, our pastor (who is brining his wife) and our photographer (who is bringing an assistant).  We’re at the point where these extra 6 people could be the deciding factor on whether or not we pay for empty seats!

We looked at other places that had minimum attendance numbers of 75 or even 100 (or minumum food costs equivalent to meals + hors d’oeuvres for those head counts) – but we knew there was no way we could fill the places without inviting people that we don’t feel particularly close to.  Instead we opted for the smaller wedding that we know we will enjoy!

Post # 25
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

We are exactly the same! We will pay the fee and have as many or few people that accepts. Less people will mean extras from the venue like upgrade on the menu, chocolate fountain or whatever else we want to add so basically if only 30 show, the they will at least be treated very well. 🙂 We are hoping for 40-50 but think only about 35 would be definates. We’ll just have wait and see. Try to see the positive side! The people who really care will be there and that’s all that matters. 

Post # 26
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Don’t feel bad at ALL! I wish our guest list could be smaller…we’re pushing 300 right now, 100 of which are my immediate family members. (Yes, my family is ridiculously large). Invite the people you love, that’s all that is important.

Post # 27
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Don’t feel sad at all! I was SHOCKED that FI’s and my guest list is as large as it is (around 140) – we both have very small, but close, friends (we subscribe to the quality over quantity point of view). I just so happen to have a huge family. If my family wasn’t so large, we’d have a guest list closer to 50.

Post # 28
2567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We’re only going to end up around 85 people which is really small by weddingbee standards, but my fiance and I will know all but 5 of those— SO’s of our friends and we’ve just not met their SO’s yet. 

I’ve got about 400 facebook friends and can barely tolerate a whole lot of them and barely know another lot of them. No way would I want to have them at my wedding— it’s exactly the same thing!  There’s a LOT to be said for a selective guest list!

Post # 29
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Please don’t feel bad!!  If I invited everyone I was related too, we’d probably have a 500+ person wedding. But I don’t know those people and I don’t talk to them. So we’re inviting only the closest family members which brings us to 23 people.  As for close friends, I have a handful. Fi has a few more. We’re having a party next year with all of our close friends and family. I doubt we’ll have 50.

I think some people have a lot of people from their parent’s guest lists. Or the “you have to invite uncle Joe because he’ll be heartbroken even though you’ve never met him” add ons.

I did have a good friend get married and invite everyone under the sun, including people she never met, just for extra gifts. Yes, she told me that. :

Post # 31
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@Pokemon:  I feel exactly the same way, half our guests will be coworkers and the rest family and maybe MAYBE 12 friends. I feel so pathetic. I actually have the least people coming with only 15 family members 6 probably won’t even show up since the relationship is strained and we don’t speak much. I am so worried we will have to try and find a smaller room at the venue so it doesn’t look ridiculous. As of right now I am likely paying the under min. fee

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