(Closed) Is there somewhere to set up a registry that accepts returns for CASH?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 17
Member
4655 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Hyperventilate:  Exactly. We’re basically straight up asking for cash because we’re flying halfway around the planet for our wedding (so that they don’t have to go anywhere.) If anyone has a problem with that I’m kinda like ๐Ÿ˜› oh well.

Post # 18
Member
9092 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Bebealways:  Well, thanks for enlightening me! I didn’t know there was a, “Oh my god! You asked for CASH?!” taboo.

Not that it changes anything… truthfully, we’re going to ask straight up for physical money or gift cards no matter what. I just didn’t know paper money was such a big deal.

Post # 19
Member
3110 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@lovelove1028:  bridal shower invites often include a card saying where you’re registered. What if you have a cute card made up about the FHA thing? I think it’s a really great idea & I think if others knew they would participate. 

that said, once you get your house you will want new bedding and towels and stuff, so make a small registry anyway! If you’re doing FHA your down payment won’t be too much!

Post # 20
Member
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

you cannot ddictate what type of gift ssomeone gives you. if they want to give you money, they will regardless of if you have a registry.if they want to give a gift they will regardless of if you register or not.

Post # 21
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I don’t see anything wrong with a small registry- if you have ten items on a BB&B registry, that’s fine. Your guests will get the hint that you don’t want “stuff,” esp. with the FHA registry. As a guest, I would be more bothered to have spent the time/gas money to go to a store, pick a gift, if your intentions were simply to return it for cash. I’ve had friends do this, and I’ll admit that it bothered me a little- “why did you waste my time?” was what I wanted to ask.

You could also request gift cards to Home Depot or Lowe’s for the future home (if they don’t expire.) Any items you could upgrade? (We got a new toaster oven, which made me ridicously happy.)  

Post # 22
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@rebwana:  @mamadingdong:  +1 for both of you.

@lovelove1028:  

I’ve learned quickly here that regardless of what is posted or how carefully you try to word things, there will be someone to comment and say it’s a bad idea, they disagree, you’re being rude, etc. I don’t wish to please everyone – just the people who are important to me! And while I appreciate (and even look for!) third party opinions who may offer new perspectives I hadn’t thought of, most of the negative ones just don’t apply because the people close to me don’t think that way.

You’re right, you WILL get responses that you don’t want to hear even if you say that you don’t want them, especially when you want to do something that’s a terrible idea. Just because you don’t want to hear an opinion doesn’t mean that it doesn’t apply. I don’t agree with most etiquette, but registering for items specifically to return them for cash is very rude. While it’s also rude to straight up ask for cash, it’s way less rude to let people know that you have a “registry” set up to buy a house. I really don’t believe that no one close to you would find being lied to and having the gift that they purchased for you returned for cash. 

I also know that the people on our guest list who MIGHT prefer to give gifts instead of cash would be more distant relatives that we don’t see or speak to very much, and probably would not be stopping by to see how their gift looks in our apartment, or even asking about how their gift is doing. I’m picturing, for one, FI’s 92-year-old great aunt, who is old-fashioned, and was so thoughtful and sweet that she purchased us an engagement present – a beautiful expensive crystal flower vase (which is utterly useless to us, as we have cats who would find a way to knock it over!). I have heard stories about this wonderful woman from FI’s grandmother, but have only met her once in almost 8 years. And while I am fairly certain she will be one to prefer giving a gift, I know she will be happier for us when she hears we finally bought a house. ๐Ÿ™‚

Trust me, I get this. FI’s grandma gave his mom two crystal goblets and a crystal bride and groom figure to give to us. We don’t want them. They’re not our style, we won’t ever use them, and yes, we have cats who really like to break things (we also live in an apartment with nowhere to put stuff that isn’t functional).

Seriously, just be honest with people. Register for a few things somewhere, things that you could use/would like an upgrade on, and then let your moms tell people about your savings account. Put a card in with your shower invitations about it. This is a WAY better idea than lying to people.

Also, there is a difference between straight up asking for cash (or asking for money to pay for the wedding, both of which have been posted about on the forums), and setting up a savings account specifically for a home. 

Post # 24
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I recommend adding gift cards to your favorite stores in your registry. That way you dont need to ask for cash. Places like Target have tons of giftcards for online stores, restaurants, and brick and mortar stores.

Post # 25
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would be upset if I went to your registry, picked out a gift, and you immediately returned it for cash. Also, it sounds like you’re only having a wedding for money. you can’t dictate what someone gets you and you can’t expect your wedding gifts to pay for your house. If you get some money for your house, great, but you can’t expect to get everything you want. Your wedding isn’t a fundraiser. 

Post # 26
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@ash064:  +1, but I wouldn’t put it on the invites.  Maybe just make a website with the information on it?

Post # 27
Member
6253 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I would just not register anywhere.  I don’t think there is a single store that will return for cash.  Maybe if you did amazon the credit would at least be useful in the future? 

Post # 28
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@grapecrush:  Ouch. Where do you get that she’s getting married just for the money? That seems like quite a reach.

@lovelove1028:  I think the FHA thing is fantastic! Brilliant, in fact. And since you’re being very public that the money is going towards a house I think it would be super cute if your card box was in the shape of a house!!!

About the registry, I don’t think you’re going to find a store that will reliably give you cash. Even if they say they do, there are so many loopholes and specifications, I think it would be really hard. So I would recommend trying to come up with at least a little bit of stuff for the registry, if you want to appease people who buy physical gifts and try to ward off as many useless crystal bowls as possible. Spend some time thinking about it. As you said, you’ll start coming up with more things you would like to get/upgrade. Especially upgrade. If you search, there are several good posts about great things to get on the registry. And just keep it in mind day-to-day. Our food-pro broke about a month ago and my fiance was going to get a new one and I was like “NO – we have to fill a registry. We can live without one until the wedding!” So keep thinking and I bet you can come up with more than you think.

But my biggest adivce is to nix the shower. It seems like it is causing the majority of your problems since most people seem okay with cash/FHA for the wedding. So thanks aunt, but no shower necessary. If she really wants to do something, then maybe she could do a little women’s brunch with no presents?

Post # 29
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@JenGirl:  Gifts should not be the priority of a wedding. As in, you shouldn’t have to scheme to figure out how to get the most money possible. She should, like everyone should, have a few gift options for guests, and let them decide what to give. Purposely registering at a place that will give a cash refund so she can put more money towards a house makes it seem like the wedding is just for money. 

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