(Closed) Is this a bad idea?

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
1645 posts
Bumble bee

Have you ever talked about the future before? Not JUST the future, but specifically getting engaged and then married.

If not I would definitely not bring it up over the phone for the first time. Especially when you’re in an LDR.

Post # 4
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i’m in a LDR and we were LDR before getting engaged as well. i don’t remember ever bringing up engagement stuff over the phone, but my proposal was kind of a surprise and we didn’t talk about engagements very often in person either.

Post # 5
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Lol – we were long distance (just for 3 months) when we figured out that we had to get married for legal/immigration/financial reasons. It was an awkward conversation, but it had to be done. We were apart for 4 years during college, so we have a pretty good phone manner by now! I think it depends on your relationship. Some couples are really open about their marriage plans, but others seem to be very wrapped up in the idea of mystery and romance and secrets and letting the man make those decisions. I’m sure you know which category you fit into already.

Post # 6
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yes, I think you should wait until you are in person. Over the phone you can’t see facial expressions, body movement. If it somehow ends up in an argument, it is also harder to resolve over the phone.

Post # 7
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

How long have you been together? Have the two of you ever talked about the subject before, in detail?  I know it’s hard but it’s probably best to wait until your in person so you can judge his reactions to your words, but, every couple is different and you’ll know what seems right.  I was never one that could keep my mouth shut! 🙂

Post # 10
2262 posts
Buzzing bee

The fact that you say hes now getting comfortable saying “i love you” definitely seems that you should avoid the marriage talk,especially on the phone. I think you both need to be in a place where you can honestly admit to each other that you want to be there for each other in the long run before you can bring up specifics.

Unfortunately the problem with being in a LDR, is that you can’t always have these sweet moments in real life, so while it may not be okay now, it might be okay in the future. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I do talk about the future together on the phone, but we are both comfortable with it and who knows maybe you just need to give it a bit of time before you guys can talk about it too.

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