(Closed) Is this a big deal or am I over-analyzing?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Gingersnap:

I understand your feeling.  Just try to talk a little by little. 

Post # 3
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Gingersnap:

I understand your feeling.  Just try to talk a little by little. 

Post # 3
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Gingersnap:

I understand your feeling.  Just try to talk a little by little. 

Post # 4
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t think it’s a big deal… if he’s been talking to his friend about this stuff, he may feel that his friend just “gets” how he thinks, and if he starts with someone else, he may have to “start over” so to speak. I mean, not necessarily but it’s just a thought that it might just be something he’s always done and it’s what he’s used to. If it really bothers you, then you need to tell him! Be straight up. Guys are not mind readers. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 5
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I wouldn’t let it bother you. My SO, is the same way. He hasn’t always been great at communicating but now it’s awesome! But their is still something different when it comes to his best friend. He will talk to him about things that he chooses not to get into a deep conversation with me. At the same time their are conversations he won’t talk with his friend about but he’ll talk with me about.

So Ii understand. I  just take it as it’s a different relationship, so he talks about things in a different way with each person. I wouldn’t be worried unless he completely stops talking with you.

Post # 6
Member
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think I’d be a little hurt too but sometimes there are just certain things you talk about with certain people.  You probably talk to your girlfriends about things that you don’t talk abotu with your Fiance.  It’s understandable that you feel left out.  I’d let him know that you feel this way, maybe he doesn’t even know.  If he still doesn’t talk to you about it, I’d say let it go.  Maybe it’s not a big deal to him.  I know I tend to over analyze things a lot too!

Post # 7
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Maybe try to ask him questions and let him do the talking, some people enjoy that.  Engage in the conversation but let him tell you all about things he knows about or likes to talk about, he may enjoy that and slowly slowly look forward to those conversations with you. 

Post # 8
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t let it bother you too much. I think some people have certain people they talk to about certain things. I can talk to my Fiance about anything but lots of stuff I want to talk to my sister about so I call her up instead. 

Post # 10
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Gingersnap: That’s awesome! I’m glad to hear that!!!

Post # 11
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee

Good to hear! I was going to say “Maybe he doesn’t know you want to have deep conversations” but then I read your update. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Glad you told him!  In general we girls seem to overanalyze.  We assume a lot and read into things more than a guy does – so sometimes you just need to actually tell them things.  And remember not to get upset about something they don’t even know about ๐Ÿ™‚

Glad it worked out!

Post # 13
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think your over analyzing, I agree with the slow approach just talk little by little and coax it out of him.

 

  But also remember that guys need their guy time as much as we ladies enjoy hanging out with our girls. We are all still individuals and it sounds as though you have great communication with him already, it could just be that these types of conversations are a large part of the relationship he has with his best friend.

 Its not that he leaves you out of them its just that those particular conversations are what binds him and his friend. TBH I would not worry, over time these conversations will become part of your discussions as well, just show him that you are open to the types of conversation that he has with his friend and eventually it will become a habit with you too. 

Guys need their individual moments as well, as much as we want to be around them all the time they still need their space with the boys just like we need with the girls. 

 

Post # 14
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

LOL just read the comments, I’m glad you spoke to him!! Hurray!! ๐Ÿ™‚

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