Post # 1
I am getting married this November and at first thought I was going to have teal bridesmaid dresses. After scouring the internet, I really didn’t find much in teal chiffon, which is the fabric I want because my dress is chiffon. So, I thought I would switch my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses to navy.
After I wrote an email to all my ladies about the color change, I remembered that a while back, one of my BMs who is not engaged or expecting to get married in the near future had mentioned that she wanted to have navy, yellow and white as her colors. Mine will be gray, teal and navy.
I emailed her separately explaining that I had forgotten she said that she wanted to use navy, and that I wouldn’t use it if she was still planning on it. She emailed back saying that she had envisioned navy for her wedding but “your getting married first and it’s your day.” I figured that was her way of saying that she didn’t want me to, but wasn’t exactly saying she didn’t want me to. I wrote her back asking her to be straight with me and that I didn’t want to make anyone upset so to please let me know if she didn’t want me to.
She said “Go for it, M.” That’s it. So I’m going to go with Navy Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. My take on it is that 1. our weddings will have completely different styles, feel, atmosphere. 2. She isn’t engaged and I don’t think it’s fair to ‘call’ a wedding color 3. It’s not like she can’t still use it
Most of my friends and BMs have said to not worry about it and do what I want to do for my wedding so I’m going to go with navy. But I have a nagging feeling that she will hold it against me for a long time and will become distant with the wedding planning. She skipped out on my birthday dinner tonight and won’t commit to going Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping next weekend.
Am I being a bad friend by using navy?
Post # 3
I don’t think you’re being a bad friend, but she might be upset with you for using it. For me, I use a short response like that when I’m upset or hurt. But like you said. you can’t call wedding colors. HAve you tried bringing it up again?
Post # 4
Uh, no offense, but I think your friend would be really out of line for being upset with you for this. You’re right, your color schemes and the feel of your weddings will be totally different, and further, she is not even having a wedding any time soon, and even if she did, she might change her mind about colors in that time or could opt for having yellow dresses. And even if she didn’t change her mind, navy is a pretty neutral color. If she’s upset over your choice to use navy for dresses, she’s being extremely irrational. No one will even remember what color your Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses were by the time she gets married, except for you and the people who actually wore them, and it’s not like she’ll want the same exact Bridesmaid or Best Man dress as you anyway. It’s sweet of you to be concerned, but I don’t think you’re in the wrong here at all. It’s not like she said she wanted to have halter-neck watermelon-colored dresses and then you decided to do the exact same. You’re just using another color–a very neutral color!–that was already in your palette.
But, did you consider using a different lightweight fabric like organza, taffeta, or charmeuse for your Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses in teal? It would probably still look great. I don’t see any reason why the fabric of Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses needs to match the fabric of the bride’s dress, unless you’re really set on having them do so.
Post # 5
yeah, shes probably upset, but really doesnt have a reason to be – being that shes not even engaged yet. its not like she was in the middle of planning her wedding and you stole all her ideas. she will get over it. and look at it this way when she gets engaged, maybe she can wear whatever Bridesmaid or Best Man dress you pick to her Rehearsal Dinner since it will be one of her “hopeful” wedding colors.