Post # 1
im 25 and my bf is 28, dating for a little over a year. Anyway I have (or had) this friend since college. She’s the party type and hooks up with people, single and not really dating. Thoughout my relationship she had always made really rude comments about my relationship. The final straw was when I told her we talked about getting engaged and she goes “well that better a long engagement” and then she was like well what if you guys hate each other. Then she said what if he leaves you and takes half your money. That pissed me off. Keep in mind she’s always made little digs like this since I started dating him, but this was the final straw. I never spoke up and said anything to her. Also one time i hung out with her and my bf and she was talking bad about him and it caused him and I to argue the whole night! I finally told her, I don’t appreciate your negative opinion on my relationship and if I wanted your advice I’d ask for it. I also said I don’t need negativity in my life right now and don’t want to talk about it. That was a month ago and haven’t heard from her since. What do you guys think? Is she a miserable toxic jealous friend? I just can’t get over it
i get it if a friend is looking out for you if you are in a negative relationship, but I’m very happy and can see myself marrying this man. So that makes me feel angry that she would be like that. It makes me feel like she is jealous of my happiness. And she is constant drama
Post # 4
You’ve clearly made up your mind and obviously know she’s toxic. “Miserable toxic jealous.” Thems harsh words for someone who’s friendship you’re supposedly considering re-upping.
Post # 5
kobeandbubs : “Is she a miserable toxic jealous friend?” — I mean, maybe. There are several other possibilities, but why does the label matter? You’re judging her, she’s judging you…. Doesn’t really sound like either of you like the other that much. You haven’t heard from her in a month, I’d just let that continue. If she does reach out at some point, I recommend just ignoring it. I doubt she’ll try to hard anyway. Let it fade.
Post # 6
So if all of us say “No, I don’t understand what you’re talking about. You’re just over-reacting. Surely she must have a lot of good qualities, too…” then you’ll what? Stay in a friendship you clearly aren’t enjoying? Only you can decide at what point you just don’t want to deal with it and the bad outweighs the good for you. It shouldn’t matter what we think and you don’t need the internet to validate your friendship decisions.
Post # 7
Why would you willingly want to stay close with someone who causes you enough drama and issue to post grievances about on the internet?
Post # 8
kobeandbubs : Some people aren’t relationship people and that’s fine. Your friend is clearly one of those people so her comments stem from the fact that SHE can’t imagine staying with someone for the long run and SHE isn’t understanding that not everyone is like her. But overall I think that your friendship is likely to end anyway, just based off the fact that she’s a huge partier that likes to hookup and you’re settling down and getting married.
If it helps, I’m the same age as you and I just got married. I have a friend that’s similar to your friend but without the negative comments about relationships. I invite this friend to BBQs my husband and I have at our house and other nice activities we do with our friends and this friend never comes because she’d rather go out to clubs or bars. I have no interest in going out with her because she’ll meet a guy and go home with him and leave her friends. So we basically I stopped inviting her to things, we never hang out and talk less and less. So the friendship is just naturally dwindling away. So if you want this to be drama free, I recommend doing the same thing, just simply stop reaching out to her.
Post # 9
Yeah, not sure you even have this friend anymore, so….no?