(Closed) Have I been SNUBBED??

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Honestly?  They’re treating you really badly and they’re not giving you any explanation, which is cruel and immature.  Obviously, you can’t control their behavior and I don’t think being mad at them is going to accomplish much.  However, the fact that your Fiance is condoning their treatment of you by continuing to accept invitations that don’t include you is pretty shocking.  You two are a team, a unit, you come as a twosome, and he should be standing up for you and not continuing to hang out with people (without his FI) who are treating you with no respect.  My husband has always told me that he couldn’t be friends with people who actively dislike or disrespect me, and I have always appreciated that and agreed with him.  When you’re in a relationship with someone, they have to be your priority.  It’s perfectly okay to have friends that your SO is not close to, but those friends still have to treat your SO with dignity, respect, and kindness.  If this other couple doesn’t make this right with you, I don’t think your Fiance should continue hanging out with them, and I really REALLY don’t think they should be invited to your wedding.   

Post # 4
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@mrsmdphd: I totally agree.

Post # 5
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

They clearly do not respect the fact that you are in a relationship with and about to be married to your Fiance. They can’t choose to hang out with him and not you. You’re not reading too much into it. I’d be very hurt and upset. 

It sounds as if they are upset that he was choosing to spend time with you instead of them… and basically they are acting just weird and not actually being a true friend to your Fiance either (um, surprise we got married 4mo ago?!)

If your Fiance wants to be friends with them still, you all need to talk and be straight forward with them. Call them out on their wacko behavior and make them give you an explanation. 

 

Post # 6
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Sorry if I’m being too blunt, but what I really don’t understand is why you’re still trying to be friends with them!

 

You sound lovely and I’m sure there’s plenty of couples out there who would love to be friends with BOTH you AND your FI!

I’d say ditch them and go give your precious time to people who actually care about you!

Post # 7
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Sorry if I’m being too blunt, but what I really don’t understand is why you’re still trying to be friends with them!

 

You sound lovely and I’m sure there’s plenty of couples out there who would love to be friends with BOTH you AND your FI!

I’d say ditch them and go give your precious time to people who actually care about you!

Post # 8
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@mrsmdphd:  Very well said.  I also totally agree.

It seems to me that your Fiance is part of the problem here.   You have said, “My fiance gets invited a few times out with them for games and such and he does accept because he doesn’t want to cause problems.”  Doesn’t want to cause problems with whom?  With them?  What about creating problems for you?  Hurting your feelings?  Why isn’t that his first priorty?  Why is he willing to keep associating with people who disrespect his future wife?  Why does he worry about creating problems between him and them more than he worries about creating problems for you?

Post # 9
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Too bad you invited them to the wedding! From all I read, I would have left them off my guest list. Lots of people that I thought maybe I should invite, I’ve realized we aren’t close at all now (ie they never talk to me or respond to emails/invites) so I don’t feel bad about not inviting them.

I hope this doesn’t drag on for you!

Post # 10
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with mrsmdphd. Does your FH realize that your feelings are hurt by their actions? If so, he probably should stand up for you and not hang out with them if they choose to continue treating you like that.

And I wouldn’t invite them to the wedding.

Post # 13
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

The snot in me says to invite just ONE of them to the wedding….

Post # 15
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@GingerCurls: Haha… writing about it in a forum. I think my Fiance just rolls his eyes when I mention weddingbee. Sometimes I tell him about some of the stories I read on here, and I think he feels it’s sooo weird to care enough to post it on the internet. Us being “girls” i guess. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

However, the fact that your Fiance is condoning their treatment of you by continuing to accept invitations that don’t include you is pretty shocking.

Ditto.  We were friends with a couple like this.  Darling Husband (BF then) was invited to a party and he didn’t even think “Why isn’t my Girlfriend invited?” and the other couple were mutual friends.  He said “They’re having a party on Saturday and I was invited and I’m going.”  Man was I livid.  He didn’t end up going but it took me awhile to get over it. 

I’m glad your Fiance plans on talking to them but couldn’t he talk to them before this that way he isn’t condoing it yet again? 

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