(Closed) Is this a strange wedding gift?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’d probably let her know that although you really appreciate her gift, you won’t be needing it since your photographer includes an engagement session.  No need to go into detail ie: you don’t like his style.  That way she can decide if she wants to use it or pass it on to someone else.

Post # 4
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Eek. That’s … awkward. Depending on whether you think she’d take it well, I’d nicely let her know that actually your photographer has thrown in an engagement session because he/she prefers to do that to get to know the couple better before the actual wedding, and while her gift was so kind, you can’t use it now. That way, she can either use it herself or give it to someone else. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@GeorgiaTeacup:Aww man that sucks. I never buy anything off of those sites anymore. They’re usually businesses that need more exposure and their product(s) is crap! Honestly, being me I would just go through with the shoot and see how they turn out. I wouldn’t have the heart to tell her to keep it. Also, I think it may be a “genuine” gift, she just snatched it up because it was a “deal”.

Post # 6
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i dont think she regifted it, but she probably saw the groupon and thought “ooo, i know someone getting married!” and bought it without thinking that the style may not match, you may not WANT that photographer, etc.  i think people who haven’t been through a wedding don’t think about these things.

but yes, strange gift, albeit, thoughtful (but not thought-THROUGH)

Post # 8
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

ugh.  I donno.  I think your best bet would be tell her your photog comes with an e-session, but really you’d prob end up getting a coupon for something else you didn’t want if you give it back, and hurt her feelings so maybe give it to someone you know with a kid or somehting, parents seem to love to get their kid photographed in a cheesy way.  I can’t imagine it was too much of an expense.

Post # 9
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@GeorgiaTeacup: Odd, but considering her prior behavior, it is expected. You could gently express to her that her gift is very sweet but you have already made decisions for the wedding, including the photographer, and perhaps the voucher is best for someone else. This way, you hopefully avoid a repeat, as in her replacing the engagement voucher with, say, a cake baker voucher for someone equally as cheesy and not your taste. You do however run the risk of her overspending behavior skyrocketing out of control in some other light. Alternatively, in addition to the real engagement session you’d have with your photographer, you can go to the engagement session with Mr. Cheese and purposely get very silly photos. 🙂 Good luck!

 

 

Post # 10
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@GeorgiaTeacup:You could actually maybe make a cute, funny scrapbook out of it 😀

Post # 11
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My fiancé and I are known in our group of friend for sending cheesy holiday cards with over-the-top  cheesy pictures of us. We always have fun and our friends say they love them.

I don’t think it wouldn’t be worth it to tell her you don’t like the gift. I understand that you don’t want to waste it, but if she gave you a vase you didn’t like, you wouldn’t tell her “it’s not my style” and give it back to her.

You could tell her that you already have a photographer and that the engagement session is included, but it was a sweet gift and you are still going to use it.

I think you should go to the shoot. Go to goodwill and get some funny outfits, wear silly makeup, and just have fun with it. It’s free! It could be a fun date with your Fiance.

I would just tell yourself she genuinely thought you would like it. If she isn’t married or into “weddings” she may have no idea about the different packages and styles of photographers.   

Post # 12
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would go to the shoot so it won’t hurt her feelings. I know it will be a pain, but it’s only 45 minutes and it will probably make her happy :). It doesn’t feel like a re-gift to me, just a bit misguided.

Post # 13
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I wouldn’t say anything to her.  She probably honestly thought she was doing you a favor.  I’d use it sometime for a silly holiday picture, like get goofy holiday sweaters and do something kitchy for the fun of it.

If it’s the best she could afford, telling her you can’t use it is going to make her feel worse and if she honestly thought it would be helpful, you’ll hurt her feelings another way.

Go for something silly that’s holiday or heck even halloween costumes or something out there that you wouldn’t waste your good photographer on.  You may be pleasantly surprised and you’ll spare a friend’s feelings.

Post # 14
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with Crababbs. Just go and have fun with it. It sounds like she is well meaning. If there was every a time for matching kitty cat sweaters, this is it!

Post # 15
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it would seem hurtful and ungrateful if you returned or did not use the gift.  What is wrong with having 2 engagement sessions?  Even if it isn’t your style, it was still a nice thought on her part.  

Post # 16
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

@Crabbabs: <


what she said

You never know, you may get a photo or two that you just love. Life is short, any photo opportunity is worth it I think.

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