Post # 1
Background: it’s a known fact amongst my circle that one of my bridesmaids (a pretty close friend) has a problem with excessive spending. We’ve all tried addressing it with her at some point, but only to an extent for fear of coming off pushy. She’s to the point where she buys almost every coupon/voucher coming out of Groupon, Living Social, Crowd Cuts, etc. (she even bought a Groupon for flight lessons… she’s NEVER mentioned wanting to learn how to fly a plane).
Anyway, as a wedding gift, she said she was going to “pay for the engagement session,” which ended up being a Living Social voucher for 45 minutes of shoot time with a photographer. The issues with this are as follows:
(1) We have since booked a photographer and the engagement session is included.
(2) The 45 minute shoot is in-studio only. On-location shots require additional time, and of course, an additional fee. Fiance and I figured whatever, since we already have the voucher, maybe we’ll just go in for random studio shots of ourselves, but then…
(3) We checked this photographer out and his style is so cheesy… almost prom-like. I should also say that the Fiance is very into photography and knows his stuff when it comes to discerning okay vs. amazing photgraphy. This photographer was just meh.
Thinking back on it now, I’m wondering if it was even a genuine, thoughtful gift, or if it’s one of those instances where she bought something and realized she didn’t really want it after the fact and “re-gifted” it as a wedding gift.
Also, now that we don’t need it, should I let her know that we won’t be using the voucher so that maybe she can use it herself or give it to someone else, or should we just hold onto it and let it expire?
Post # 3
I’d probably let her know that although you really appreciate her gift, you won’t be needing it since your photographer includes an engagement session. No need to go into detail ie: you don’t like his style. That way she can decide if she wants to use it or pass it on to someone else.
Post # 4
Eek. That’s … awkward. Depending on whether you think she’d take it well, I’d nicely let her know that actually your photographer has thrown in an engagement session because he/she prefers to do that to get to know the couple better before the actual wedding, and while her gift was so kind, you can’t use it now. That way, she can either use it herself or give it to someone else. Good luck!
Post # 5
@GeorgiaTeacup:Aww man that sucks. I never buy anything off of those sites anymore. They’re usually businesses that need more exposure and their product(s) is crap! Honestly, being me I would just go through with the shoot and see how they turn out. I wouldn’t have the heart to tell her to keep it. Also, I think it may be a “genuine” gift, she just snatched it up because it was a “deal”.
Post # 6
i dont think she regifted it, but she probably saw the groupon and thought “ooo, i know someone getting married!” and bought it without thinking that the style may not match, you may not WANT that photographer, etc. i think people who haven’t been through a wedding don’t think about these things.
but yes, strange gift, albeit, thoughtful (but not thought-THROUGH)
Post # 7
@JamieinMN: LOL yeah, we may just go to the shoot… that way Fiance and I can keep the photos as an inside joke if they turn out really bad.
Post # 8
ugh. I donno. I think your best bet would be tell her your photog comes with an e-session, but really you’d prob end up getting a coupon for something else you didn’t want if you give it back, and hurt her feelings so maybe give it to someone you know with a kid or somehting, parents seem to love to get their kid photographed in a cheesy way. I can’t imagine it was too much of an expense.
Post # 9
@GeorgiaTeacup: Odd, but considering her prior behavior, it is expected. You could gently express to her that her gift is very sweet but you have already made decisions for the wedding, including the photographer, and perhaps the voucher is best for someone else. This way, you hopefully avoid a repeat, as in her replacing the engagement voucher with, say, a cake baker voucher for someone equally as cheesy and not your taste. You do however run the risk of her overspending behavior skyrocketing out of control in some other light. Alternatively, in addition to the real engagement session you’d have with your photographer, you can go to the engagement session with Mr. Cheese and purposely get very silly photos. 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 10
@GeorgiaTeacup:You could actually maybe make a cute, funny scrapbook out of it 😀
Post # 11
My fiancé and I are known in our group of friend for sending cheesy holiday cards with over-the-top cheesy pictures of us. We always have fun and our friends say they love them.
I don’t think it wouldn’t be worth it to tell her you don’t like the gift. I understand that you don’t want to waste it, but if she gave you a vase you didn’t like, you wouldn’t tell her “it’s not my style” and give it back to her.
You could tell her that you already have a photographer and that the engagement session is included, but it was a sweet gift and you are still going to use it.
I think you should go to the shoot. Go to goodwill and get some funny outfits, wear silly makeup, and just have fun with it. It’s free! It could be a fun date with your Fiance.
I would just tell yourself she genuinely thought you would like it. If she isn’t married or into “weddings” she may have no idea about the different packages and styles of photographers.
Post # 12
I would go to the shoot so it won’t hurt her feelings. I know it will be a pain, but it’s only 45 minutes and it will probably make her happy :). It doesn’t feel like a re-gift to me, just a bit misguided.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t say anything to her. She probably honestly thought she was doing you a favor. I’d use it sometime for a silly holiday picture, like get goofy holiday sweaters and do something kitchy for the fun of it.
If it’s the best she could afford, telling her you can’t use it is going to make her feel worse and if she honestly thought it would be helpful, you’ll hurt her feelings another way.
Go for something silly that’s holiday or heck even halloween costumes or something out there that you wouldn’t waste your good photographer on. You may be pleasantly surprised and you’ll spare a friend’s feelings.
Post # 14
I agree with Crababbs. Just go and have fun with it. It sounds like she is well meaning. If there was every a time for matching kitty cat sweaters, this is it!
Post # 15
I think it would seem hurtful and ungrateful if you returned or did not use the gift. What is wrong with having 2 engagement sessions? Even if it isn’t your style, it was still a nice thought on her part.
Post # 16
what she said
You never know, you may get a photo or two that you just love. Life is short, any photo opportunity is worth it I think.