(Closed) Is this a tacky thing to put on a registry?

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 32
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

bananafairy:  95% of my guests gave cash. A handful of people gave physical gifts. Only one of those physical gifts was something I don’t really need/want. Getting one or two of those types of gifts isn’t worth doing something, which I find to be, in poor taste (putting a charity option on a wedding registry). Again, if you make it clear that gifts are not needed, chances are you won’t get physical gifts and/or the physical gifts you do get will be very minimal. 

Post # 33
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m not going to read all the posts, so apologies if I’m repeating what someone else has already said.

If I saw this on a registry, I would be pleased. I would split my planned spend between a normal gift and a donation.

Post # 34
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My husband and I didn’t want any gifts at our wedding, for many reasons (my parents don’t have much money, our extended families are living very far and were not coming, so most of our guests were friends and colleagues in their late 20s early 30s with new houses and babies), so we wrote on the invitation that it was a no gift wedding (we meant no gift at all, money or boxes) (it was a really small and informal wedding). Because a lot of people told us they wanted to offer something, we gave them the possibility (on the informal invitation) to give to a charity (we suggested the Canadian Cancer Society as my mom is a cancer survivor). We had no way to know who did and who didn’t give, so it was perfect. We were happy with that, and the guests who were away and not coming were happy to give to the charity, and our guests seemed happy with that.

I have to add that in my part of Canada (the French one), we don’t have gift registries, we do really small and low key weddings (no sitting dinner, no open bar, no bridal parties, just the ceremony and dancing), and most people don’t get married at all anymore (and there is no proposal, both partners decide if and when to get married and set a date!) So for my side, it was normal. For my husband side, however (English Canada) it was a bit unusal, but they all thought it was actually cool and had tons of fun at our low key wedding, where they didn’t have to bring an expensive gift lol

I think your idea is great, and I would really encourage you to go forward with it!!!

Post # 35
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee

LyndaButterfly:  But don’t you think the guests have the right to know if the couple is going to be giving away any cash they receive to a charity? People give money at a wedding for the couple to use towards their life – the wedding, honeymoon, a house, items for a house, etc. If the couple is giving the money away to charity, maybe a relative would not feel comfortable giving the couple the same amount they would otherwise. 

Personally, I think if the couple plans to donate any money they receive, they should let the guests know. 

That’s just my opinion. Maybe the guest would rather make the donation in their name instead so they could benefit from the tax receipt.

Post # 36
Member
12316 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

IMO it defeats the polite fiction of a registry being a private list of things you are collecting for the home, that people must actively search out.  On the other hand, no one is collecting charity donations.

It’s also problematic to suggest charities to other people in connection with a private social event. You wouldn’t do it at a dinner party, so it’s no more appropriate here. 

Post # 37
Member
1624 posts
Bumble bee

While I 100% support donating to help those who are less fortunate, I’m not a bridal registry is the most appropriate place- especially this type of charity. It would really bother me to see the chance for someone to receive basic survival items next to lavish or non-essential home goods or decorations. Life is incredibly unfair, and first world weddings really highlight that gap- can you really say your desire for a fancy mixer is equal to someone getting clean water or adequate food? 

I would either forgo a traditional shower or wedding gifts and make a donation on your own to a cause that is worthwhile to you, or chose the gifts and shower for yourself and leave off the charity donation. 

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